ENFP and ESFP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance
The creative ENFP and their friendly ESFP make an interesting pair. Though they have some key differences, these two types also have a lot in common. Connecting with others, having fun, and being free is what these two types are all about.
I. Compatibility
Generally, ENFPs and ESFPs can get along well. They have the potential to be a loving and long-lasting relationship that is based on having fun and being spontaneous. ENFPs and ESFPs are both thoughtful, kind, and attentive people who desire to be noticed by others. ENFPs want to be wanted, while ESFPs need to be needed. Therefore, for both types, relationships are important, and they’re both typically willing to work hard to make them work.
Both ENFPs and ESFPs desire to deeply connect with others, but it can be difficult for them as they both can be quite guarded despite how open they can seem to be to others. For both ENFPs and ESFPs, also, it is important that they feel that their partner understands them.
Summary Chart: ENFP and ESFP Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts
| Compatibility | Possible Conflicts |
| They’re both adaptable | They’re unorganized |
| They can have great teamwork | Both can hide behind a barrier of superficiality |
| They’re caring | ENFPs are driven by their intuition, while ESFPs are driven by their senses. |
3 Reasons Why ENFP and ESFP Are Good for Each Other
Three reasons why ENFPs and ESFPs can be good for each other are the following:
- They’re both capable of adapting to new situations and even welcome change and unexpected events.
- When willing to, they can work together as a team well, as they can fill in some important gaps that exist in each other naturally.
- They both are usually quite caring and thoughtful people who can treat each other well.
ENFPs and ESFPs both have the Perceiving trait. Given this, both of these types are usually good at adapting to new situations and often desire new or unexpected experiences, seeing them as something that’s positive or exciting.
When unexpected things do occur, it’s likely that the ENFP, being the creative and innovative forward-thinker that they are, will come up with many new ideas or solutions for them to try in order to navigate through the issue, while the ESFP will ground the ENFP’s thoughts and ideas and find a way to execute them in a realistic manner.
In this way, ENFPs and ESFPs can actually be great partners and work together well. ESFPs tend to be more pragmatic than ENFPs, while ENFPs are typically more creative and innovative than ESFPs. For these reasons, they both can benefit from the other’s strengths.
ENFPs and ESFPs are both also dynamic and tend to be go-getters. Since they’re both extroverts, interacting with others socially is rarely an issue. As a result, when they need to ask others for help as a team, they will likely not struggle to do so, whereas a team of introverts may struggle unnecessarily with a problem that they could more easily resolve by reaching out to others.
In addition to being charming, ENFPs and ESFPs are usually both caring and supportive as well. As a result, their team harmony will potentially be very good, and they may have a lot of positive energy between them which they will likely feed off of, making them even more effective as a team than they may would otherwise be given their technical skills.
Since ENFPs are intuitive while ESFPs are sensors, they think and communicate differently. ENFPs are abstract and forward-thinking, while ESFPs are concrete and are typically more concerned with the past and the present. As a result, when these two types work together and are willing to consider and respect each other’s point of view, they can get a better picture of the problem at hand and come up with more well-developed ideas or solutions that can better serve their team objectives.
ENFPs are great at noticing patterns and building connections between the information that they intuit and perceive, while ESFPs are great at detecting small details and seeing what’s happening around them. When working together, these two types can see more of the puzzles in front of them than they could when solving them alone or with others like them.
Additionally, ENFPs are often more “ideas people,” while ESFPs are typically “doers” who desire to actually put their hands on things rather than just thinking about them hypothetically. For this reason, their teamwork can also be great since the ENFP can do the work that the ESFP usually doesn’t like having to think up the ideas and hypothesize, while the ESFP can take on the task of actually doing the work to implement the ENFP’s ideas which they (the ESFP) may enjoy doing and the often lazier ENFP will appreciate not having to do.
The third reason why ENFPs and ESFPs can be good for each other is that they’re both usually more caring and thoughtful types of people. These two types are usually very aware of others’ needs and will likely do a great job of taking care of each other as they both desire to be wanted or needed by their loved ones or partners.
3 Reasons Why ENFP and ESFP Are Not Good for Each Other
The following are three reasons why ENFPs and ESFPs may not be good for each other.
- They both are usually very unorganized and shy away from schedules or sticking to routines.
- They both can be shallow or superficial and keep people at a distance.
- They see the world differently and may struggle to see eye-to-eye.
While their shared Perceiving trait can help them both be more adaptable, this shared trait can also make them bad for each other because they both can have a hard time being organized and responsible.
Because of their Perceiving trait, neither ENFPs nor ESFPs typically like sticking to schedules or routines, and they may procrastinate a lot on doing important housework and following through on their responsibilities.
Cleanliness may be an issue for this couple, and they may have poor organizational and financial skills.
The ESFP, being a Sensor and a bit more practical than the ENFP, may willingly take on the responsibility of having to take care of the more important everyday matters or concerns, but they may begin to resent having to take on this role with time which can cause them to grow negative feelings towards their ENFP partner and dislike being in a relationship with them.
Also, since both types usually like to keep their options open, they may fail to finalize some decisions or plans until it’s too late because they may keep pushing them off until a later date that ends up being too delayed.
Though sociable and seemingly open, ENFPs and ESFPs can both be quite closed off about private matters and their deeper feelings. These two types can put barriers up and keep people at far distances because they both secretly fear being hurt, so they choose to keep themselves safe by often forming more superficial or shallow relationships.
Trust can be an issue for this couple, and because they both can be too focused on the external world, they can often neglect to reflect on themselves and take the time to resolve issues completely, instead often opting to fix problems superficially and address the concerns half-heartedly, if they even address them at all.
Both types typically value harmony and keeping the peace, so they may put off addressing conflicts until it’s too late and their emotions have already built up to an explosive volume.
Communication
ENFPs have Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Thinking (Te), and Introverted Sensing (Si) in their cognitive functions stacks, while ESFPs have Extroverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extroverted Thinking (Te), and Introverted Intuition (Ni).
This means that these two types share two of their functions (Fi and Te), while having two that are very different (Ne vs Se and Si vs Ni).
ENFPs tend to focus their energy on the future. They’re innovative and creative and think in abstract ways. Imagining, forming hypotheticals, and theorizing are how these people communicate and see the world.
ESFPs, however, are more focused on the present and typically consider the past, not the future, when making decisions or coming up with ideas. When ESFPs talk, it’s usually about more concrete things like facts, places, people, and their experiences. They are less concerned about theories or hypotheticals and usually don’t hold much weight in them either.
While ENFPs can often talk in metaphors and analogies, ESFPs are usually much more literal in their speech.
Where are they strong and why?
Where ENFPs and ESFPs are strong in their shared ability to think on the spot and be quick on their feet. They are also usually the type of people to think out loud, so they may likely find it easier to bounce ideas off each other to come up with better ideas and solutions.
Where do they have problems and why?
Where ENFPs and ESFPs can halve problems is that because they’re both so talkative, there may be more talking going on between the two of them than listening. Also, because of their communication differences mentioned above (ENFPs being more abstract while ESFPs are more concrete and literal), they may find it hard to see each other’s points of view, and if they’re immature or stubborn, then it can be difficult for them to compromise or come to collaborate.
Also, because they both have Introverted Feelings in their cognitive function stacks when they are upset, they may fail to put themselves in each other’s shoes and may instead just selfishly focus on their own feelings rather than looking at things objectively.
How might they improve communication?
ENFPs and ESFPs can improve their communication by respecting their differences and choosing to collaborate using each other’s strengths rather than competing.
Working to be more objective when upset will be helpful for them to improve their communication as well.
Finally, they should also make sure they are also listening to each other when having conversations so that they aren’t just talking at each other with no real conversation actually being had.
Where do they connect? Why?
Where ENFPs and ESFPs connect is in their abilities to be outgoing and spontaneous and their desire to have fun. These two types can have a good time together, and the atmosphere between them can often be energetic and positive.
ENFP & ESFP: Values
Both ENFPs and ESFPs have strong values.
3 Things an ENFP Values
- Connecting with others
- Freedom and flexibility
- Creativity
3 Things an ESFP Values
- Connecting with others
- Freedom and flexibility
- Having fun
How do their values match up?
Both of these personality types value connecting with others, and neither ENFPs nor ESFPs like having their freedom curtailed. Both of these types value having more flexible schedules, which can be helpful for them as a couple since they will be unlikely to be too demanding of each other on this point, but it can also be a problem for them as a couple since neither of them being strong in this area means their relationship and daily life together may likely be chaotic and unorganized.
Because they are both sociable, they both may form relationships (not necessarily romantic) with other people outside their relationship, which can cause them problems as a couple if jealousy and distrust form between them.
Love Language/Love Style
Both ENFPS and ESFPs have Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation as three of their top love languages
Ways ENFPs Show Their Love
ENFPs show their love by being generous, caring, affectionate, and attentive.
Ways ESFPs Show Their Love
Similarly to ENFPs, ESFPs also show their love by being generous, caring, affectionate, and attentive.
ENFP and ESFP in Bed
Both ENFPs and ESFPs can be passionate in bed, and they are likely to see sex as more than just a physical act but an emotional one as well.
II. ENFP and ESFP Couples/Marriage
How well-matched are they in a long-term romantic relationship?
ENFP Male and ESFP Female
ENFP males and ESFP females may be attracted to each other’s charming and outgoing personalities. This pair can have a lot of fun together, but their relationship can be more superficial if they do not let each other in.
They may have issues with money if neither the ENFP male nor the ESFP female is responsible for their finances.
With time, the ESFP female may wish the ENFP male was more reliable and less scatterbrained, while the ENFP male may wish the ESFP female had more depth and was more interesting to talk to.
ESFP Male and ENFP Female
ESFP male and ENFP female couples may have a lot of fun together and may be very attracted to each other quickly.
If the ESFP male is more traditional, he likely will be very disappointed in how disinterested the ENFP female is in doing housework and being the traditional housewife.
Both ESFP males and ENFP females tend to be spontaneous and adventurous, so they will likely enjoy having many unique experiences together.
Money may be a problem for this pair as neither of them is particularly good at managing it as they both can be as impulsive in spending it as they are in doing things in their daily life.
With time, the ENFP female may wish her ESFP male partner was more interesting to talk to, though she may like how affectionate and fun he is.
III. ENFP and ESFP Conflicts
Conflict is a component of any relationship, including relationships between ENFPs and ESFPs.
Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)
- They’re stubborn – Both ENFPs and ESFPs can be very stubborn, especially ENFPs. Compromising can become an issue when they both feel like they’re right or when they want dissimilar things.
- They’re conflict-avoidant – ENFPs and ESFPs can both also be conflict-avoidant because they would rather keep fake peace than rock the boat and risk things becoming too disharmonious. Because of this, problems may blow up to bigger issues than they would have otherwise been had they dealt with them before they got out of hand.
- They can compete against each other for attention. – ENFPs and ESFPs can compete with each other for the floor or attention. This can become an issue when they don’t feel united as a pair and instead feel disparate as two strictly individual people.
- Their interactions and conversations can be shallow. – As a means of protecting themselves, ENFPs and ESFPs can keep others at a distance, and if they do this to each other, then their relationship can be very shallow and superficial, which can lead to it being easy to break apart.
How do they resolve conflict?
ENFPs and ESFPs can resolve conflict by being more united as a couple and not seeing each other as competitors. They can also resolve conflict by being more honest with each other and trusting each other more.
How do they build trust?
ENFPs are more likely to build trust with ESFPs who are appreciative of and respect their creative ideas and unique personalities. ESPFs are more likely to build trust with ENFPs who are more reliable and realistic.
IV. ENFP and ESFP Friendships
Thanks to the unique combination of both their similarities and differences, friendships between ENFPs and ESFPs can be beneficial for both of them and lead to a lot of fun.
ENFP vs. ESFP: Approach to Friendship
ENFPs and ESFPs usually approach friendship a bit differently. Since ESFPs typically live more in the present, they may be more short-sighted about the friendship than the ENFP, who may already be picturing their friendship together years down the road.
Though ENFPs and ESFPs are both sociable, it’s likely the ENFP may reach out to the ESFP first as ENFPs are oftentimes even more outgoing than the also friendly ESFP.
ENFP & ESFP Friendship Dynamics
The dynamics between ENFP and ESFP will possibly be like this: They will be very outgoing and fun. Because they are both so spontaneous and adventurous, they will likely bring each other’s energetic and impulsive natures out even more, feeding off of each other’s energy and positive attitudes.
The ENFP may inspire the ESFP to dream bigger and be more creative and open to new ideas, while the ESFP will likely push the ENFP to be more realistic and keep their ideas more grounded.
Since ENFPs and ESFPs are usually both more laidback types of people, they likely won’t put too many expectations on each other or bog each other down with too many responsibilities.
What makes them good for each other as friends?
What makes ENFPs and ESFPs good for each other as friends is their potential to help each other grow and see things from different perspectives. They will likely also appreciate that they’ll have someone to have fun with and take on their adventures.
Could they be close friends?
Yes, ENFPs and ESFPs could be close friends if they are willing to let each other in. They are both the types of people to take relationships seriously and prioritize the people who mean most to them, so if they both feel that their friendship is important and worth keeping, these two types can build and keep a very close friendship that lasts a lifetime.
What are some areas that might cause them problems as friends?
Some areas that can cause them problems as friends are their stubbornness and their desire to maintain peace, even if it means avoiding necessary conflict. They can also have problems if they compete with each other rather than seeing the benefits of what they each bring to their friendship.
