The introverted, feeling INFJ and the extroverted, thinking ENTJ may not seem the likeliest of pairings, but this couple actually has quite a lot in common. A passion for improvement and abstract communication styles are only two examples of shared traits over which this couple may bond.
There’s no such thing as the perfect personality match, but the INFJ/ENTJ relationship has the potential to be a long-term, loving, and mutually-beneficial one. Both are intellectually curious and each strives for improvement, qualities each partner will likely find attractive in the other.
Both personality types look for a deep connection with their partner, though they may establish that connection differently and for different reasons. The INFJ seeks connection grounded primarily in emotions, whereas the ENTJ looks for an intellectual bond above all else.
Summary Chart: INFJ and ENTJ Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts
|Abstract style of communication||Different approach to socialization|
|Desire for improvement||Low tolerance for mundanity|
|Intellectual curiosity||Shared tendency to overlook details|
|Both value order||INFJ’s introversion vs. ENTJ’s extroversion|
Three Reasons INFJ and ENTJ Are Good for Each Other
There are many ways INFJ and ENTJ types may potentially be good for one another as romantic partners:
- Both value improvement
- Intellectual curiosity
- Mutual appreciation of culture
As both INFJ and ENTJ types value intellectual curiosity and discovering new ideas, this couple likely has plenty of common ground on which to build a sound relationship.
Improvement, including self-improvement, is important to both partners in an INFJ/ENTJ relationship. This mutually-reinforcing drive can benefit both partners in an INFJ/ENTJ relationship. Combine this with their mutual appreciation for culture, and the INFJ/ENTJ couple will always have plenty of overlapping interests upon which to find common ground.
Three Reasons INFJ and ENTJ Are Not Good for Each Other
The INFJ/ENTJ couple have plenty of common traits upon which to build a long-term, meaningful relationship, but every couple has the potential for conflict. Some reasons for conflict between INFJ and ENTJ are:
- Tendency to overlook crucial details for the big picture
- Extroverted vs. introverted personalities
- Different communicative styles
Both abstract thinkers, the INFJ and ENTJ sometimes focus too much on the big picture and not enough on small but necessary details; both partners tend to focus on the forest at the expense of individual trees. Unfortunately, this can lead to frustration and disappointment, which, if left unchecked, too quickly may become resentment.
Another potential cause for disharmony in an INFJ/ENTJ relationship is the amount of alone time needed by each partner. Without a reasonable understanding of the differences between an extroverted and introverted personality, partners in this relationship may feel either neglected or smothered.
Different styles of communication can also be a potential cause for conflict. There’s a danger the more expressive ENTJ may come across as blunt or even pushy to their INFJ partner. Conversely, the INFJ may seem indecisive or overly sentimental to the more assertive ENTJ.
Communication can be something of a double-edged sword for the INFJ/ENTJ couple. Initially, stimulating conversation can be a big part of what draws these two types together. Both INFJs and ENTJs prefer conversations about more abstract subjects and are likely to find one another engaging conversationalists.
Over time, as differences in value are exposed, conversations that begin as enjoyable and engaging have the potential to end in disagreement or worse.
Where are they Strong, and Why?
Though different, the communicative styles of the INFJ and ENTJ can be complementary. INFJs are sometimes just as happy to let their more communicative partners do most of the talking in a given conversation. Generally, this works well for the INFJ/ENTJ couple.
Where do they Have Problems, and Why?
Complimentary though their communicative styles may be, communication between partners in an INFJ/ENTJ couple may potentially present some pitfalls. ENTJ types are more expressive than their INFJ partners, and there’s a danger they may unwittingly shut their counterparts out of a conversation entirely.
As mentioned earlier, communication between INFJ and ENTJ types can sometimes become contentious. While both partners value deep conversations about meaningful topics, INFJs and ENTJs have some value differences that are likely to require some degree of “agreeing to disagree.”
How can INFJ and ENTJ Improve Communication?
Healthy communication is an essential factor in any successful relationship. The INFJ/ENTJ couple will have to make some concessions to their partner’s communication style if they want to make their relationship last.
The ENTJ must not monopolize every conversation nor ascribe their partner’s occasional silence to agreement or lack of an opinion. Understanding that INFJ types are less verbally expressive and often prefer to deliberate before committing to an answer can keep the ENTJ from unwittingly verbally “bulldozing” their partner.
For the INFJ’s part, they must not put too much stock in their tendency to put off important conversations. ENTPs prefer to deal with perceived problems as soon as possible; it’s simply a part of their personality, and they aren’t being deliberately pushy.
Where do they Connect? Why?
INFJ and ENTJ types connect on various levels. Both enjoy analyzing ideas and are drawn to a more abstract perspective on the world. Neither has a high tolerance for the mundane and so are likely to appreciate activities that “shake up” the norm.
Dating for an INFJ/ENFJ couple can be a fun and fulfilling experience, especially as the partners learn more about one another.
INFJ and ENTJ: Values
Both INFJ and ENTJ types feel strongly about their values, and there is some overlap in where each type identifies meaning. Their shared values, however, often arise from different causes.
Things an INFJ Values
- Deep emotional connections
- People and their feelings
The introspective feeling INFJ places a very high value on other people and the quality of their lives. INFJ’s desire to serve others is so ingrained that many INFJs find themselves employed in people-related fields like education, social work, and medicine.
When it comes to relationships, INFJ types desire deep, meaningful connections with others they feel they can trust. As such, they place a high-value authenticity, so it can take a little time to establish a strong trust bond with an INFJ.
Things an ENTJ Values
- Intellectual stimulation
Improvement, intellectual stimulation, and organization, three of the things most highly valued by the ENTJ, are also highly valued by the INFJ. Both value improvement and constantly seek ways to expand their intellectual and experiential boundaries.
ENTJs and INFJs value organization and approach the world in similarly structured ways. With such significant overlap in values, one might think the INFJ and ENTJ were made for one another; unfortunately, the thinking ENTJ and the feeling INFJ have very different perspectives regarding people and their feelings.
How do their Values Match Up?
Partners in an INFJ/ENTJ relationship will likely find they value many of the same things. This doesn’t mean, however, that they value them for the same reasons. For example, both personality types value improvement, but each often has different ends in mind.
For the feeling INFJ, all values relate to other people and how their lives may be improved. The thinking ENTJ prefers to grapple with problems concerning things instead of people.
It would be a mistake to think ENTJs don’t value other people and their well-being; it’s just that this isn’t their primary focus. They’d rather help others in a less personal way by coming up with solutions to practical problems that affect everyone.
Love Language/Love Style
Ways INFJs Show their Love
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Active listening
Spending quality time and offering words of affirmation are the most common ways most INFJs choose to express their love. Active listening is another way the somewhat under-expressive INFJ shows love.
For the introverted INFJ, time alone is a precious commodity to be protected at nearly all costs. Introverted personalities use “alone time” to process and recharge; without ample time for solitude, the introvert may feel overwhelmed or worse. As such, sharing quality time with someone is a significant show of love from the INFJ.
INFJ types want to know their partners deeply so they can form meaningful, lasting bonds. One of the ways an INFJ shows love is by paying careful attention to their partner and listening actively in an effort to understand.
Ways ENTJs Show their Love
- Acts of service
- Gift giving
- Physical touch
ENTJs tend to be verbally expressive, but they prefer discussing ideas to talking about emotions. Because of this, ENTJs tend to rely on nonverbal ways to express their love. Performing acts of service for their partner, giving gifts, and physical touch are, therefore, the preferred love languages of the ENTJ.
INFJ and ENTJ in Bed
How the INFJ/ENTJ couple’s shared aversion to the mundane and adventurous spirits manifest themselves in the bedroom will depend, to a great degree, on the amount of trust that’s been established between them. The INFJ sees sex as far more than a physical act; they see it as a chance to deepen the bond between themselves and their partner.
INFJ & ENTJ Couples/Marriage
INFJ Male and ENTJ Female
This pairing has plenty of potential for long-term happiness, provided the INFJ male doesn’t feel bulldozed by his more verbally expressive partner. On the other hand, there’s a danger the ENTJ female may be put off by her counterpart’s more feeling nature, ascribing it to reluctance on her partner’s part to make critical decisions.
INFJ Female and ENTJ Male
Like its converse, the INFJ female/ENTJ male relationship also has much potential for success. There are areas of potential conflict, though. The INFJ female may find her more expressive, thinking partner too blunt or unconcerned with people’s feelings. For their part, the ENTJ may be frustrated by their partner’s tendency to put off talking about important issues.
INFJ and ENTJ Conflicts
INFJ/ENTJ couples, like all other Briggs-Meyers personality trait pairings, are going to experience some degree of conflict.
Possible Areas of Conflict, and Why
When INFJ/ENTJ couples experience relationship conflict, it is often for one of the following reasons:
- INFJs tend to put off having important conversations, a trait that can be counterproductive and frustrating to their ENTJ partner.
- ENTJs and INFJs have different needs regarding alone time.
- ENTJ may verbally overwhelm their less expressive INFJ partner
ENTJ types usually want to address problems immediately before they get out of hand. This conflicts with their INFJ partner’s tendency to put off difficult conversations to maintain a sense of harmony. Both partners in an INFJ/ENTJ relationship will have to give some ground on this issue.
Any relationship between an introverted personality and an extroverted one is likely to experience at least some conflict, and this is indeed true for the INFJ/ENTJ couple. Without a mutual understanding of each other’s need for social activity vs. time alone, this difference in personality is likely to result in misunderstandings.
Both INFJs and ENTJs enjoy deep, abstract conversations, but their approaches can be quite different. INFJs are often more deliberative before responding during a discussion, and there’s a danger the more expressive ENTJ will feel a need to fill every perceived lull in the back-and-forth. This can leave the INFJ feeling “steamrolled” or entirely left out of the exchange.
How do INFJ and ENTJ Resolve Conflict?
INFJs and ENTJs resolve conflict in different ways, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Under the best of circumstances, both partners can introduce one another to new approaches to conflict resolution.
The ENTJ prefers to face conflict head-on and sooner rather than later. They are adept at defending their positions and resort primarily to logic for justification.
Because the INFJ places a high value on harmony in a relationship, they tend to put problems off. It isn’t that they don’t appreciate the magnitude of a given situation; they just prefer to take some time to consider all options before committing to a decision. Also, the INFJ, unlike the ENTJ, will evaluate each partner’s emotional state before bringing up or entertaining a potentially decisive issue.
How do INFJ and ENTJ Build Trust?
Both intuitive personality types, INFJs, and ENTJs have a sort of sixth sense when identifying people with whom they’ll get along. That doesn’t mean that both types are quick to give their trust.
INFJs can be particularly careful about trust, often frustrating partners who feel relegated to the “outside” in some sense. No matter how well someone knows an INFJ, they’re likely to think that they don’t know them well enough from time to time.
Generally, ENTJs aren’t as reticent to trust as INFJs. Moreover, they aren’t as likely to rescind trust should a friend or partner violate that trust in a minor way.
INFJ and ENTJ Friendships
With so much in common regarding interests and values, many INFJs and ENTJs form long-lasting and fulfilling friendships. They both have adventurous spirits, are intellectually curious, and desire deep connections with others.
INFJ and ENTJ: Approach to Friendship
Though often perceived as cold or emotionally distant by other personality types, ENTJs can be giving and loyal friends. The feeling, people-oriented INFJ also values friendship, though they may have a more challenging time “breaking the ice” with new people.
INFJs and ENTJs are both intuitive and will likely form bonds of friendship over the course of a series of stimulating and enjoyable conversations. Both desire deep connections with people, though ENTJs desire more intellectual connections, whereas INFJs look for deeper emotional bonds with friends.
INFJ and ENTJ Friendship Dynamics
As they share intuitive and judging traits, there’s more than enough common ground between the INFJ and ENTJ for them to form meaningful, rewarding friendships. While friendships between extroverted thinkers and introverted feelers are less likely than between some other Myers-Briggs pairings, this friendship represents a beautiful opportunity for both partners to grow as individuals.
What Makes INFJ and ENTJ Good for Each Other as Friends?
There are many reasons INFJ and ENTJ are good for one another as friends. For one, the extroverted ENTJ can help their INFJ companion “come out of their shell,” so to speak. The feeling INFJ’s can positively influence the sometimes too direct ENTJ, reminding them of the importance of other people and their feelings.
Could they be Close Friends?
As long as ENTJ/INFJ friends can bridge the emotional gap between their thinking vs. feeling values, there is the potential for them to form and maintain very close friendships indeed.
What are some Areas that might Cause them Problems as Friends?
No friendship is without a degree of conflict, and there’s more than enough potential conflict between ENTJ and INFJ friends to keep things from getting boring.
Many of the pitfalls that plague INFJ/ENTJ romances are the same that can potentially hobble INFJ/ENTJ friendships. Different communicative styles, different needs regarding socializing vs. time alone, and a shared tendency to overlook details for the “big picture” are all areas that might cause the INFJ and ENTJ problems as friends.