INFP and ENFJ: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

Once these two idealists meet, the INFP and ENFJ will be inseparable. Having an immediate emotional connection with one another, their chemistry is instantaneous and grows stronger the longer they are together. Never ones to play games with each another, authenticity and communication are what the INFP and ENFJ couple are all about.

General Compatibility

Overall, INFP and ENFJ are likely to be one of the best personality combinations that can come together in friendship and romance. Combining the ENFJ’s optimism and high energy levels with the INFP’s deep thinking and kindness toward others, this couple hits it off from day one.

Possessing strong values that are deeply held, both the INFP and ENFJ know who they are and who they want as friends or lovers. If there is one thing an INFP does not like, it is a person who turns out to be phony. This makes the ENFJ an ideal partner, since they never try to be pretentious when around people in any situation.

Once these two come together as a couple, expect them to discuss anything and everything that is on their minds, knowing it is open communication that lets small problems get solved before they turn into major difficulties.

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
Both are very honest ENFJ is a planner, while INFP enjoys spur-of-the-moment activities
They are equally committed to their values ENFJ’s energy level is much higher than INFP can always handle
Neither likes to play games INFP loves having their own space, and may feel smothered by an ENFJ
Both want an emotional connection with their partner ENFJ may come across to INFP as controlling and bossy at times

3 Reasons Why INFP and ENFJ can be Good for One Another

Since they have so many similarities, it’s not hard to find many reasons why INFP and ENFJ are great for one another.

  1. They are completely authentic with each other
  2. They share the same values about marriage and other important topics
  3. They’re great at communicating their thoughts and feelings to one another

Since finding a partner who shares their values is so important to each of these personality types, neither falls in love easily. Although their chemistry is great from the beginning, each wants to take some time to get to know the other person before making what they feel is an important commitment.

However, once Cupid’s arrow hits its mark, expect this couple to have plenty of intimate candlelight dinners as their romance blossoms. Each is also quite willing to go the extra mile to please their partner, whether it is planning a great date or doing extra chores around the house. Forming a strong partnership that can withstand almost any turmoil tossed their way, the INFP and ENFJ play off each other’s strengths as they get more comfortable in their relationship.

3 Reasons Why INFP and ENFJ might not be Good for Each Other

While this couple can be a perfect match, there are also some reasons why they may not hit it off in terms of friendship and romance.

  1. INFP is very sensitive to rejection, and can sometimes take things the wrong way.
  2. ENFJ is naturally neat, while INFP is naturally messy.
  3. Both may avoid confrontations over little differences, which can result in larger arguments that damage the relationship.

While their strong values work well in most aspects of their relationship, these same values can sometimes be a double-edged sword. The INFP has extremely high standards for their potential partners, which can make it hard for the ENFJ to constantly live up to their expectations.

Additionally, an INFP is someone who takes a long time to get to know, which may frustrate the open and honest ENFJ. Finally, an ENFJ can sometimes be too honest in the relationship, leading to the INFP feeling rejected when that may not be the intent of the ENFJ.

INFP and ENFJ Communication

One part of this couple’s relationship, if not the strongest, is that the INFP and ENFJ both know how to communicate their thoughts and feelings to one another and do so on a regular basis. Always using their values as their starting point, it is easy for these two to keep the lines of communication open as their relationship progresses. In fact, it’s not unusual for this couple to have in-depth conversations at the dinner table each night, knowing this allows them to tackle any problems that may be on the horizon.

Along with these conversations, an ENFJ needs lots of verbal displays of affection, meaning that an “I love you” from their INFP partner now and then will go a long way. In return, the ENFJ will be a loyal and committed partner to their INFP.

Where are the INFP and ENFJ strong, and why?

Very comfortable with one another, the INFP and ENFJ are always able to be themselves during the course of a conversation. Determined to meet their partner where they are within the relationship, the INFP may have trouble articulating their feelings now and then. However, due to their desire for emotional intimacy within the relationship, they are always willing to encourage their ENFJ to share what they are thinking and feeling.

Where do an INFP and ENFJ have problems, and why?

At times, an INFP may feel smothered by all the attention they are receiving from ENFJ. In some situations, especially those centering on small differences of opinion, both may avoid talking about what’s getting on their nerves. Yet at some point, one or both can hold it in no longer, which may produce an argument that both tried so hard to avoid.

In addition, since the ENFJ has a seemingly endless supply of energy, the INFP may want to stay home and relax, while the INFP is making plans and telling them how much fun there is to be had at a local festival or gathering with friends.

How can they improve their communication?

First, both must be willing to not let the little things slide. Instead, they should acknowledge the problems and deal with them quickly. Also, the ENFJ will need to learn how to give constructive criticism in a way that does not make the INFP overreact with feelings of rejection.

Finally, both will need to remember that while honesty is something they love, it can sometimes be too much of a good thing. Unless there is a major problem brewing between the two, the INFP and ENFJ will do better if they tell a little white lie now and then.

Where do they connect and why?

These two connect on both an emotional and intellectual level. Combining the philosophical approach to life of the INFP with the immense positivity of the ENFJ, the result is a couple that works hard to get the best not only out of their own relationship, but also of those around them as well.

Each is very understanding of others, making them able to be empathetic while also carefully analyzing a situation and how they responded to its circumstances. In the end, it is the abundant energy of the ENFJ and the honesty they both value that keeps their connection strong over the years.

INFP and ENFJ: Values

Always living their lives according to their values, the INFP and ENFJ make honesty, loyalty, and treating others the same way they wish to be treated core components of their relationship.

3 Things an INFP Values

  1. Genuineness
  2. Being there for one another
  3. Loyalty

An INFP holds everyone to very high standards, especially their partner. They love for others to share their thoughts and feelings with them, and are very glad when their ENFJ partner plans an activity for the two of them down to the smallest details. Always willing to help others, an INFP will be loyal to the very end.

3 Things an ENFJ Values

  1. True love
  2. Absolute honesty
  3. Opportunities to express their affection

For an ENFJ, it’s all about not only finding an INFP they can love for the rest of their lives, but also being allowed to express their affection whenever they wish. As for absolute honesty, the ENFJ could not lie much if any to their partner or anyone else. Determined to use their energy and optimism to help others and make the world a better place in which to live, the ENFJ will take the authenticity they value so dearly and be willing to put in the time and effort needed to make their relationship work better than anyone ever imagined.

How do their values match up?

This is one couple whose values match up as close to perfect as possible. Since each craves and demands authenticity and honesty from the other, they use their values on how to treat others and how to live life to their advantage.

When together, they are totally focused on each other. Even if it is hard for the INFP to tell the ENFJ just how much they love them on a regular basis, their actions always speak louder than their words.

Love Language and Style

When expressing their feelings for one another, these two go about it in much the same way. While the INFP will need their partner to give them reminders of just how much they are loved, the ENFJ also needs plenty of attention, displays of affection, and quality time with their INFP.

Ways an ENFJ Shows Their Love

An ENFJ shows their love for an INFP in various ways.

  1. Commitment to a long-term relationship.
  2. Open communication about their emotions.
  3. Little acts of kindness.

When the ENFJ loves an INFP, that person is without a doubt their top priority. Giving their affection very freely, they love planning time with their INFP and being together as much as possible.

Ways an INFP Shows Their Love

An INFP will show their love for an ENFJ in many different ways.

  1. Create the perfect date experience.
  2. Encourage sharing of emotions.
  3. Being there for the tough times.

Knowing that an ENFJ values commitment and loyalty, an INFP will score many points with their love by being there during the tough times. This can include caring for their partner when they are sick, comforting them after the loss of a family member or pet, or having an in-depth conversation about a topic close to their partner’s heart.

Creating the perfect date experience will also be a way in which the INFP shows their love. Since intimacy is so important to them, an INFP will always make sure their ENFJ partner enjoys a quiet picnic in the park or other activity that helps them express their love.

INFP and ENFJ in Bed

When in bed with one another, the INFP and ENFJ both want the emotional connection that comes with being intimate with a person they love. In fact, this couple works well together in bed. When you combine the high energy levels of the ENFJ with the desire of the INFP to experience new things under the sheets with a partner they completely trust, the result is a couple that rarely has any sexual problems.

INFP and ENFJ Couples/Marriage

INFP Male and ENFJ Female

In a long-term romantic relationship, the INFP male will usually do very well. Since he is very selective when it comes to romantic partners, he will be very attentive to those whom he begins dating. Though INFP men are spontaneous by nature, this is not evident as much within their romantic relationships. In fact, an INFP male will spend time making plans and taking care of small details in order to please his ENFJ female partner.

ENFJ Male and INFP Female

The INFP female will often come across as dark and mysterious, even after she is well into a romantic relationship with an ENFJ male. While this may sound like it could result in problems, it does quite the opposite. Eventually, conversations about emotions rise to the surface, giving the INFP female a chance to showcase her honesty and ability to connect emotionally with her partner.

INFP and ENFJ Conflicts

Even though these two feel a connection from the first time they meet, this does not mean conflicts never take place. Though arguments are usually few and far between for these two, thanks to their desire to always communicate with one another, certain problems can cause conflicts within the relationship.

Possible Areas of Conflict and Why it Occurs

Conflict between an INFP and ENFJ may occur due to the following reasons:

  • ENFJ may inadvertently become bossy and controlling over the INFP.
  • Both often choose to avoid confrontations, letting issues escalate.
  • The high energy level of the ENFJ may become annoying to an INFP.

Since the INFP often likes to be a homebody, the ENFJ who always wants to make plans to go somewhere can lead to relationship problems. Household chores can be another sore point between these two, since the INFP is Oscar Madison compared to the ENFJ Felix Unger. Finally, even those these two love spending lots of time with one another, the INFP still needs some space now and then. This can be problematic since the ENFJ loves to devote themselves entirely to their love interest.

How do INFP and ENFJ Resolve Conflicts?

Ultimately, it is their desire to keep the lines of communication open that helps these two resolve their conflicts. Although they both hate the thought of arguing with one another, more often than not they take that risk by laying all their cards on the table.

When conflicts arise, the ENFJ always falls back on their emotional intelligence, helping them to better understand the perspective of their INFP partner. By doing so, they can defuse the situation and seek compromise, which is what this couple is all about in the end.

How does this Couple Build Trust?

To build trust between them, the INFP and ENFJ talk, talk, and talk some more about anything and everything that happens to be on their minds each day. Using open and honest communication, these two also create high levels of trust by demonstrating their loyalty and commitment to one another. No matter how tough life may get, the INFP and ENFJ know their partner always has their back.

INFP and ENFJ Friendships

Since these two like each other minutes after meeting, they can have a great friendship even if the romantic leanings are nowhere to be found. In many cases, they feel an instant bond that is emotional and spiritual, laying the foundation for what often turns out to be a lifelong friendship.

INFP vs. ENFJ: How they Approach Friendship

Though they both like each other immensely, the INFP and ENFJ take different routes to establishing a friendship with one another.

When an INFP first meets an ENFJ, they will be very reserved yet friendly, waiting to see the other person’s reaction. If it’s positive, the friendship quickly blossoms.

As for an ENFJ, they waste little time letting the INFP know they have just found their BFF. Open and honest from the outset, it won’t take long before these two will be having lots of fun with one another. In fact, once this friendship is cemented, there will be virtually nothing that will break it apart.

INFP and ENFJ Friendship Dynamics

An ENFJ is very extroverted in terms of showing friendship, while the INFP is more introverted and cautious about who they let enter their inner circle. While on the surface this seems like a friendship that could run into many challenges, these differences actually work in the friendship’s favor. As the extrovert, the ENFJ can help the INFP deal with any number of problems before they spin out of control. As for the INFP, their practical and philosophical way of thinking can help their ENFJ friend view life from a number of different perspectives.

Are they good for one another as friends?

Most definitely. Whether talking to each other one-on-one or hanging out with one another at a social gathering, the ENFJ can use their extrovert personality to encourage the more reserved INFP to widen their social circle. Since the INFP will appear to many people as perhaps snooty due to their lack of interaction with others, the ENFJ can show everyone just what they are missing by not being friends with the INFP.

Can they become close friends?

Yes, and they almost always do so soon after meeting. Due to their mutual love of honesty and authenticity, each quickly understands that the other will be a close friend who is committed, loyal, and willing to tell them both the good and bad in any situation.

Are there areas that could cause problems with their friendship?

Though it’s more likely these two will remain good friends for decades, it’s also possible certain things could derail the friendship as time goes by. One of the biggest is the difference in energy levels between the ENFJ and INFP.

If the ENFJ continually wants the INFP to do this and that, it can become annoying enough to the INFP that they choose to end the friendship. Likewise, an ENFJ may grow weary of trying to break through the walls that the INFP sets up to ensure only people who meet their high standards become part of their life.

Finally, their differences in how they live life, such as the INFP being messier than the ENFJ, can become sore spots within their friendship. This may become particularly evident should these two take a trip together. Unfortunately, some of the very best friendships have not been able to withstand what was supposed to be a fun vacation with friends.

When these differences are combined with each person choosing to avoid talking about what bothers them about the other person, the result can be a friendship that meets its demise over what are very small problems in the grand scheme of things.