The introspective, intelligent INTP and the outgoing, optimistic ENFP may not initially seem like a compatible romantic pair. However, they have the ability to create a strong sense of balance within their relationship and know how to bring out each other’s best qualities while respecting each other’s differences.
An INTP enjoys few things more than an intellectually stimulating conversation. While ENFP may not be overtly analytical, they are easily adaptable to any situation and are more than happy to indulge INTP’s need for intellectual curiosity and conversations.
On the other hand, INTP is much more introverted than ENFP and needs an ample amount of time to themselves to recharge while ENFP thrives off of their social connections. Care must be taken to strike a good balance between these two in order to truly thrive as a couple.
Summary Chart: INTP and ENFP Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts
|Both types enjoy thinking outside the box||INTP’s need for ample time and space may make ENFP feel shut out|
|Both prefer to speak in abstract terms rather than minute details||ENFP’s unbounded optimism may seem out of touch with INTP’s more realistic approach|
|Both are perceptive and gather most of their information by observation||ENFP’s empathetic world view may seem too soft for INTP|
|ENFP can provide INTP with much-needed encouragement, while INTP can help ENFP make decisions based on more than emotion alone||ENFP’s extroversion and high energy may be wearisome to an INTP|
3 Reasons Why INTP and ENFP Are Good For Each Other
Although INTP and ENFP do have a few things in common, some of their salient advantages as a couple lie in their differences.
- Both are curious and enjoy exploring different thoughts and ideas together
- ENFP can provide light-hearted energy to the more serious, task-driven INTP
- INTP can help ENFP slow down and learn how to say “no” more often
ENFP looks on the bright side of life in nearly every situation. INTP’s practicality sometimes borders on pessimism and negativity, which can affect their mental health and quality of life if they’re not careful. ENFP’s optimism is often seen as a welcome breath of fresh air for more introverted personality types.
At the same time, ENFP’s compulsion to attend every social function can leave them personally drained. They are people-pleasers and hate to say no, even when acceptance is detrimental to them. INTPs can show their partners how to tend to their own needs more often by inspiring them to decline invitations every once in a while and focusing more on their own needs.
3 Reasons Why INTP and ENFP Are Not Good For Each Other
On the other hand, INTP’s and ENFP’s differences can cause huge challenges in the relationship, especially when it comes to matters of the heart and keeping the romance alive.
- INTP can come across unintentionally harsh and abrasive, which could hurt ENFP’s feelings
- INTP may have a hard time relating to ENFP when they try to convey their emotions
- ENFP’s need to keep romance alive in a long term relationship may prove difficult, if not impossible, for INTP to meet
For all the honesty that INTP brings to a conversation, their truthfulness is not always appreciated. Furthermore, they are prone to offering unsolicited advice which tends to cause them a fair amount of conflict in their relationships.
ENFP is very in touch with their emotions and needs a partner they can open up to and be vulnerable with. INTP struggles with emotions and has difficulty connecting with others in this way. This may become a huge point of conflict down the line and cause the relationship to suffer.
Communication between INTP and ENFP tends to flow quite naturally, especially when things are going well. ENFP is more extraverted and feels comfortable taking on a more active role when conversing, while INTP is happy to take a more laid-back approach and jump in whenever they have something of value to add. At the same time, ENFP should make sure they don’t completely take over every conversation and should try to ask their partner open-ended questions to encourage them to participate more equally.
Where are they strong and why?
Both INTP and ENFP are intelligent and know how to drive a point home. They are also perceptive and can pick up on the direction that a conversation may be heading or whether there is conflict bubbling just on the horizon. They both speak in abstract terms so they can appreciate each other’s communication style without worrying about cutting each other off.
Where do they have problems and why?
INTP has a tendency to shut down much more quickly and leave the conversation altogether if they feel it isn’t worth their time. ENFP is a genuinely caring personality and will typically encourage others to speak their mind. Inevitably, INTP will often say exactly what’s on their mind without hesitation, leading to embarrassing social situations and possible conflict.
How might they improve communication?
INTP should try to think before they speak more often, or at least learn how to determine whether their advice is even warranted in the first place. By learning to be more tactful they can reduce the frequency of this embarrassing scene.
ENFP in turn should learn how to keep their emotions in check and be okay with not always being liked by everyone in a room. Their people-pleasing tendencies often get in the way of their own fulfillment, so they should learn how to speak from the heart more often instead of just saying what they think others want to hear.
Where do INTP and ENFP connect? Why?
Both INTP and ENFP do a good job of focusing on the future. Because of this they work well together when it comes to setting personal and professional goals.
While they do prefer to work within a generally agreed-upon framework, neither likes to feel restricted, and they both have an intense dislike for rigid scheduling. Because of this they can adapt as a situation changes and modify their plans as needed.
INTP & ENFP: Values
While INTP and ENFP may significantly differ in most of their values, they do share a few core beliefs, specifically their need for personal growth and dedication to problem solving.
3 Things an INTP Values
INTPs strive to satisfy their intellectual curiosity, and require ample time alone to reflect and recharge at the end of a long work week. They typically value:
- Intellectual growth
- Ample time alone to reflect
- Effective problem solving skills
INTPs don’t tend to make friends as easily as some of the other personality types. They are very reserved and usually come across as somewhat standoffish. It’s not that they refuse to socialize with others; they just prefer to sit back and observe before they decide whether or not they want to engage.
When INTPs do participate in a conversation, they are often very purposeful and direct. They aren’t afraid to say what’s on their mind either. This can get them into awkward situations sometimes, but it also means that they are quick-witted and surprisingly funny when they are around people they feel comfortable with
INTPs enjoy tackling a good problem and are known for their work ethic and professional drive.
3 Things an ENFP Values
ENFPs value emotional connections with their family and friends and thrive off of a full social calendar. Important to them are:
- The emotional integrity of genuine friendships
- An optimistic outlook on life
- A drive for continuous self-improvement
ENFPs are generally very happy people, and serve dutifully as the person their friends can turn to when they are feeling upset and need some words of encouragement or a shoulder to cry on. ENFP loves taking on this role and sees it as a badge of honor. They value true emotional connections and prefer spending their time with others who allow them to be vulnerable.
They aren’t ever satisfied with the status-quo and are constantly on the lookout for new ways to improve themselves, whether it’s setting weight loss goals, improving their finances, or taking their career to new heights.
How do their values match up?
If there’s one thing that INTP and ENFP have in common it’s creative energy and an appreciation for innovation. They both prefer to keep their plans open ended and need the ability to expand on their creative processes as they see fit. They are great problem solvers and appreciate an opportunity to improve any situation at work or at home.
On the other hand, INTP values their personal space and time alone to reflect on their own thoughts. They are happy to spend their days off reading, writing, listening to music, and relaxing in front of the TV catching up on their favorite shows. Too much time alone makes ENFP uncomfortable, as they often feel their time could be better spent visiting their friends or trying new things.
INTP takes a practical, realistic approach to things and this often spares them unnecessary setbacks in their personal and professional lives. This is why they seem to not rather unperturbed in the face of bad news or catastrophic events.
ENFP’s endless optimism and positive attitude makes them an effective cheerleader among their friends. However, they tend to react emotionally when they are caught off guard by bad news.
Love Language/Love Style
ENFP may be much more emotionally expressive than INTP, but both types appreciate spending quality time with each other as well as giving and receiving physical affection.
Ways INTPs Show Their Love
An INTP tends to show their love in the following ways:
- Tangible acts of service around the house
- Quality time spent with their loved one
- Physical touch
INTPs aren’t comfortable with emotional displays of affection, so they’re not the type to shower their partner with verbal platitudes and romantic words. Rather, they prefer to show their love by spending time with them, as well as helping around the house when needed. They are also comfortable with giving and receiving physical affection.
Ways ENFPs Show Their Love
An ENFP shows their love in the following ways:
- Words of affirmation, verbal expressions, and encouragement
- Physical touch both in private and public settings
- Quality time with their partner
ENFPs are very comfortable with expressing their emotions and have no problems telling their loved ones just how much they mean to them. They are born romantics and love to lavish their partner with physical affection, as well as spending ample amounts of time with them, whether it’s out on dates or watching a movie on TV together.
INTP and ENFP in Bed
An ENFP requires a strong emotional connection to experience sexual fulfillment in the bedroom. In contrast, INTP has no problems getting physical satisfaction without needing emotional connection.
If ENFP experiences tension within their relationship they may not feel comfortable enough to experiment in bed. INTP doesn’t care for changing things up too often, and is content to stick with routine moves in the bedroom.
A dearth of emotional connection and creativity in bed are strong reasons why this couple may experience significant dry spells in their relationship.
INTP and ENFP Couples/Marriage
INTP Male and ENFP Female
INTP males can be drawn to ENFP females for a variety of reasons. For one, ENFP females are very friendly and generally happy people. INTPs are fascinated by this type of personality, especially since they’re much more analytical and realistic in their expectations of others.
While INTP males can help keep their ENFP partner’s expectations in check, they should be careful to not allow themselves negatively affect their partner’s mindset and cause them deep unhappiness.
ENFP Male and INTP Female
INTP females are drawn to ENFP’s optimism and upbeat attitude, but ENFP’s exuberance can be draining, especially if they continuously expect their partner to attend every social event they’re invited to. ENFP males should learn how to give their INTP female partners enough time to relax and recharge in order to avoid burnout.
INTP and ENFP Conflicts
All couples will experience their fair share of conflicts from time to time. This is true for an INTP and ENFP pairing. Typically, INTP and ENFP with experience conflict for the following reasons:
Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)
- ENFP’s needs for emotional vulnerability vs. INTP’s emotional detachment and inability to connect on an emotional level
- ENFP’s need for romance and passion vs. INTP’s focus on practical day-to-day matters
- INTP’s need for ample space and time to decompress vs. ENFP’s need for constant social interaction and activity
The main point of contention between INTP and ENFP is the fact that ENFP often feels that they cannot be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. INTP appears detached much of the time, and this can be a significant road block in their relationship.
Additionally, ENFP craves intense romance and this is simply not something that INTP can naturally provide their partner with. If efforts aren’t made to bridge these issues then INTP and ENFP may eventually part ways.
How do INTP and ENFP resolve conflict?
These two personality types may communicate in a similar manner, however, they need to approach sources of conflict differently. INTP needs plenty of space and time to decompress, especially after a particularly stressful event. ENFP needs to feel comfortable enough to be emotionally vulnerable with their partner, which is difficult for INTP to do.
In order to resolve conflicts between these two they need to understand each other’s needs and practice active listening without becoming dismissive of each other’s needs.
How do INTP and ENFP build trust?
INTP isn’t afraid to speak their mind, which isn’t always helpful during conflict. At the same time, it’s not uncommon for them to make their point and then completely withdraw from the argument. They’re dismissive of others and may even write the other person off if they become too emotional.
ENFP sometimes has a tendency to steamroll others during conversations. This is especially problematic with INTP who is more reserved and not as quick to speak. ENFP can also get emotional, which is an issue for INTP.
Trust can be built if ENFP allows INTP the opportunity to speak their point of view without talking over them, while INTP learns how to actively listen and not be dismissive of other people’s emotions.
INTP and ENFP Friendships
INTP’s and ENFP’s differences in their approach to friendships is exactly why they tend to get along rather well. INTP and ENFP can help balance each other out and keep each other open to new experiences throughout their relationship.
INTP vs. ENFP: Approach to Friendship
ENFPs enjoy being around other people. Whether they are in the workplace or at school, they always seem to have an easy time navigating any social situation. Their ability to relate well to others and charming personalities make them natural leaders, facilitators, and negotiators.
An ENFPs thrives on spirited banter and teamwork. Their optimism and energy can be infectious, which is why other people are so drawn to them.
INTP sees no need to overexert themselves in any situation if they don’t feel it benefits them in the end. Their more cautious approach and analytical state of mind means they are much more comfortable on their own or with a carefully vetted group of friends.
INTPs seek out friendships that are genuine and mutually beneficial, and they see no need for social niceties or platitudes. While they won’t go out of their way to strike up a conversation with just anyone, they will usually speak up if they find they have something very important to say. They don’t sugarcoat things either and aren’t afraid to rock the boat when they see fit.
INTP & ENFP Friendship Dynamics
ENFP’s exuberance and outgoing personality means they are often the life at any party. INTP, on the other hand, is much more reserved and prefers to keep to themselves or with a select few people during social occasions.
While these two don’t seem to have much in common, they are actually capable of having a very balanced friendship dynamic. ENFPs are drawn to an INTP’s intellect and their unique perspective on life, and are not without appreciation for their deadpan, somewhat sarcastic, sense of humor. INTPs appreciate ENFP’s optimism, especially since their more analytical nature tends to keep them in a much darker state of mind.
What makes INTP and ENFP good for each other as friends?
INTP isn’t afraid to tell things like they are, which means they may hit ENFP with a dose of reality from time to time. ENFP’s boundless optimism and energy are unsustainable, which can easily cause them to burn out. INTP can inspire an ENFP friend to say no every once in a while and focus on their own personal needs before tending to everyone else’s problems.
Could they be close friends?
ENFP’s appreciation for lively conversation and INTP’s intellect mean that these two could indeed become close friends. ENFP’s encouraging personality can help INTP get through difficult times in their lives while INTP can help ENFP become more disciplined and focused.
What are some areas that might cause them problems as friends?
ENFP is cheerful, optimistic, and outgoing. While these may seem like wonderful traits to have in a friend, they can sometimes become a bit too much for INTP.
INTP’s more serious, reflective approach to life and need for ample amounts of time alone can cause this friendship to become strained over time. This is especially true if INTP doesn’t take ENFP’s feelings into account and practice active listening during times of conflict.