For each pair of following statements, circle the one that fits you best within your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, try to imagine how you would like to be treated if you were. Or think about how you like to be treated by family members and close friends.

1)

I like to receive encouraging or affirming notes

I like to be hugged

2)

I like to spend one-to-one time with close friends

I feel loved when someone gives me practical help

3)

I like it when people give me gifts

I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones

4)

I feel loved when people do things to help me

I feel loved when people give me a reassuring hand shake or hug

5)

I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their arm around me

I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I admire or love

6)

I like to go places with friends or loved ones

I like to high-five or slap around with friends who are special to me

7)

Visible symbols of love (such as gifts) are important to me

I feel loved when people affirm me

8)

I like to sit close to people I enjoy being around

I like it when people tell me I am attractive/handsome

9)

I like to spend time with friends and loved ones

I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones

10)

Words of acceptance are important to me

I know someone loves me when he or she helps me

11)

I like being together and doing things with friends & loved ones

I like it when kind words are spoken to me

12)

What someone does affects me far more than what they say

Hugs make me feel connected and valued

13)

I value praise and try to avoid criticism

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift

14)

I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together

I feel closer to friends & loved ones when we wrestle, hug or shake hands

15)

I like for people to complement my achievements

I know people love me when they do things for me they do not enjoy doing

16)

I like for people to cross the street to shake hands or hug when they see me

I like when people listen to me & show genuine interest in what I am saying

17)

I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects

I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones

18)

I like for people to complement my appearance

I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings

19)

I feel secure when a special person is physically close to me

Acts of service make me feel loved

20)

I appreciate the many things that special people do for me

I like to receive gifts that special people make for me

21)

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act to serve me

22)

I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift

I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words

23)

I know a person is thinking of me when they give me a gift

I feel loved when a person helps me with my chores or tasks

24)

I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and does not interrupt me

I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift

25)

I like knowing loved ones are concern enough to help with my daily tasks

I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me

26)

I don't mind the kiss-hello with friends I am close to

Receiving a gift given for no special reason excites me

27)

I like to be told that I am appreciated

I like for a person to look at me when they are talking

28)

Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me

I feel good when a friend or loved one hugs or touches me

29)

I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task I have requested

I feel loved when I am told how much I am appreciated

30)

I need physical contact with people everyday

I need words of encouragement and affirmation everyday


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