ENFP and INTP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

ENFP’s enthusiastic yet emotional demeanor differs from INTP’s disconnected and analytical approach to life. This relationship may seem like an uphill battle. However, with the right mindset and a desire to understand each other, ENFP and INTP can form a relationship filled with opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

I. Compatibility

ENFP and INTP relationships have the potential to remain stable and healthy. However, without proper communication and setting healthy boundaries, they can also become very “one-sided.” INTP’s blunt communication style, analytical thinking, and disconnected tendencies are the opposite of ENFP’s warm, outgoing, and good-natured personality. In a healthy relationship, these two personalities can help open each other’s eyes to new ways of interacting with others and become more well-rounded. In a dysfunctional ENFP and INTP relationship, both parties will feel misunderstood and unsure of where their union stands.

 

Summary Chart: ENFP and INTP Compatibility VS Possible Conflicts

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
ENFPs can help INTPs branch out more often to socialize and network with others. INTPs are unemotional and can seem undetached, whereas ENFPs are highly empathetic.
INTPs can help ENFPs use their logic skills when making a decision. INTPs can come across as critical and dismissive of others, which may hurt ENFPs’ feelings.
Both personality types are highly adaptable and deal well with change. ENFPs need continuous contact with others and plenty of social connection, whereas INTP needs space alone to work and refocus.
INTPs and ENFPs are open-minded and curious, making them receptive to new approaches to solving their problems. ENFPs are always on the go and need to work towards a goal actively, whereas INTPs are more laid back and don’t find it necessary to be on the move all the time.

3 Reasons Why ENFP and INTP Are Good for Each Other

There are several reasons why ENFP and INTP make good partners for each other. They share a need for continuous improvement and a love for adventure.

  1. ENFP and INTP share a need to seek out improvement in their personal and professional lives.
  2. INTP can help ENFP become more rational in their approach to problem-solving instead of making decisions based on their emotions.
  3. They share a mutual love for adventure and discovering new places.

ENFP and INTP constantly strive for greatness, whether in their professional or personal lives. While INTP has a very rational and pragmatic decision-making process, ENFP finds it hard to make decisions without letting their emotions influence them. INTP can help ENFP develop a more logical approach to decision-making. At the same time, ENFP can help INTP become more attuned to their emotions. Both personality types love to experience new things and will enjoy creating memories throughout their adventures.

 

3 Reasons Why ENFP and INTP Are Not Good for Each Other

At the same time, there are several reasons why ENFP and INTP may not make such great partners. Their different ways of interacting with the world around them make it difficult for them to understand each other’s viewpoints.

  1. INTP has a very blunt communication style, and they don’t sugarcoat anything. This approach may hurt ENFPs’ feelings. 
  2. ENFP seems overly idealistic to INTP, who is more pragmatic and sensible. 
  3. Because both types may feel like they continuously have to walk around eggshells with each other, they may feel unappreciated, and the relationship isn’t working out.

ENFP is an easy-going yet emotional personality type. They want to ensure everyone around them has their needs met and will treat others very cautiously in order to spare their feelings. While INTP has a social side, they don’t see the need to sugarcoat anything, especially when they think someone dire needs advice. Therefore, they tend to take a blunt approach with others, including ENFP. This communication style may hurt ENFPs’ feelings and cause them to keep their distance. 

ENFP is an idealist and tries to look on the bright side of every situation, whereas INTP is very practical and realistic. Because ENFP is worried INTP will say something hurtful to them, and INTP is worried about how ENFP will take their advice, both types walk around eggshells when interacting. This issue means neither one may ever feel comfortable in the relationship

 

Communication

ENFP and INTP relationships are challenging to navigate. While they have similar communication styles, their opinions are often vastly different from one another. ENFP and INTP both communicate in an abstract manner. However, ENFP is most concerned about how ideas affect others around them. Meanwhile, INTP concerns themself with which theories prove most efficient and makes the most economic sense.

 

Where are they strong, and why?

ENFP and INTP tend to communicate with each other in an abstract manner. They enjoy looking at the “bigger picture” without focusing too much on the details. ENFP looks at things from an emotional standpoint, while INTP tends to look at things from an analytical stance. Despite this difference, they share an intense drive toward improvement. Therefore, they know how to put their differences aside to work together and get the job done.

 

Where do they have problems, and why?

While ENFP and INTP share similar interests, they may not always understand each other. Because of this, they are at constant risk of miscommunication. These misunderstandings may lead to significant disagreements and potential conflict if they aren’t careful. They should take the time to explain their positions in order to keep their miscommunications from spiraling into arguments.

 

How might they improve communication?

Regarding communication, INTP is often short and straight to the point. This shortness of tone can come across as rude and overbearing, especially for ENFP. ENFPs’ tendency to over-accommodate and willingness to please others may lead to their inability to speak from the heart. INTP should work on how they can come across and try to rephrase what they are trying to say. At the same time, ENFP always tries to do what they can to please others. While their agreeable nature makes them great friends, they may not always get their needs met. Therefore, they should speak up more often to avoid getting taken for granted.

 

Where do they connect? Why?

ENFP and INTP are intellectually curious personality types. They enjoy exploring the world around them and like to listen to other viewpoints. They can speak at length about topics that interest them, such as politics, art, philosophy, and technology.

 

ENFP & INTP: Values

The likelihood of a relationship succeeding often depends on shared values. ENFP and INTP do not share similar values. However, clear communication and respect for each other’s differences will help increase their likelihood of a healthy relationship.

 

3 Things an ENFP Values

ENFPs are free-spirits with a lively, “go with the flow” approach to life. They value emotional integrity, compassion towards others, and connecting with those they hold dearest to their heart.

  1. Emotional Integrity
  2. Compassion
  3. Connections with family

ENFPs are open-minded, friendly, and extremely outgoing. They strive to make everyone feel included in social situations and like to ensure everyone has a great time. They are very compassionate towards others and have fulfilling social lives. At the same time, they have a quiet, thoughtful side too. They are able to ponder the meaning of life without becoming too self-isolated. Of the different personalities, ENFP values their close connections with their family the most.

 

3 Things an INTP Values

INTPs are quiet and analytical personality types. They value autonomy and intellectual advancements and are on a continuous search for the truth.

  1. Search for the truth
  2. Intellectual achievement
  3. Autonomy and independence

INTPs are very introspective and quiet. They keep to themselves and can get lost in their own thoughts. It’s not uncommon for them to seem detached and somewhat aloof. That said, they form attachments with those who share the same frame of thinking and enjoy sharing their ideas or engaging in a debate with others. They need the ability to remain independent from others and prefer to spend time on their own, especially after a long day of socializing with others.

 

How do their values match up?

ENFP and INTP are very different in terms of what they value. While ENFP values emotional connections, family ties, and socializing with others, INTP prefers plenty of time alone to think. These two personalities must work hard to bridge the gap between INTPs’ emotional aloofness and ENFPs’ compassionate mindset.

 

Love Language/Love Style

Every personality type has its unique way of showing love in a relationship. Understanding these differences will help partners learn how to best show affection for each other, depending on their personality type.

 

Ways ENFPs Show Their Love

ENFPs love to make their partners feel special. An ENFP shows their love in the following ways:

  •  Words of affection
  •  Quality time
  •  Physical touch

ENFPs care tremendously about how their partners feel. They feel more secure in a relationship and do everything they can to make their partner feel special. They tend to fall in love very hard and can seem intense. They continuously shower their partners with praise and spend as much time as possible with them. They are very physically affectionate and may come across as “smothering” to more detached personality types.

 

Ways INTPs Show Their Love

INTPs may have difficulty expressing their love. However, they strive to show their partners how much they mean when in a healthy relationship. An INTP shows their love in the following ways:

  • Physical touch 
  • Quality time
  • Words of affirmation

Although INTP may seem intellectual and aloof, they have a fun and attentive side. When in a healthy relationship, they will show affection through physical touch. While they enjoy their independence, they like spending quality time with a partner they feel is intellectually on their level. Although they are not usually verbally expressive, they will praise their partners when they think it is deserved.

ENFP and INTP in Bed

ENFPs love physical intimacy with their partners. They enjoy exploring what makes them tick and taking the time to help them achieve physical satisfaction. Unfortunately, their enthusiastic lovemaking style is not always appreciated. ENFPs are people pleasers, and their partners may not always share that same willingness to “do what it takes” to fulfill them sexually. On the other hand, INTP appreciates sex and doesn’t necessarily need an emotional connection with their partners to feel fulfilled. They don’t need to feel as though their sexual partner is their soul mate, just that there is a foundation of friendship before they can explore intimately. They always require mental engagement and enjoy pillow talk just as much as lovemaking.

 

II. ENFP and INTP Couples/Marriage

How does ENFP match up in a long-term romantic relationship?

 

ENFP Male and INTP Female

ENFP males are outgoing and friendly, which is what draws INTPs’ interest in the first place. They are somewhat overly accommodating, which creates an unfair power balance between them and their INTP counterpart. INTP needs to put their ego aside and determine if they are pulling their own weight in the relationship. ENFP males often get tired of picking up after INTP’s mess around the house and may grow resentful. ENFP should try to stand their ground and express their needs if this relationship is to stand a chance.

 

INTP Male and ENFP Female

Like their counterparts, this relationship will encounter similar challenges if they aren’t careful to maintain boundaries and positive communication. The ENFP partner may find that their efforts within their relationship aren’t reciprocated and may wonder if their partner values them. The INTP may not understand the need to continuously express gratitude when ENFP goes out of their way to help them.

 

III. ENFP and INTP Conflicts

All relationships will encounter conflict from time to time, and ENFP and INTP are no exception to this rule. Because these personalities are so different, they will experience more than their fair share of conflicts.

 

Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)

While conflicts arise in each relationship, conflicts between ENFP and INTP often revolve around areas of responsibility, INTP’s disconnectedness, and ENFP’s inability to focus.

  • ENFP may get stuck with the brunt of housework and chores with little appreciation shown from INTP.
  • INTP is insensitive, disconnected, and dissatisfied, which creates distance from ENFP. 
  • ENFP’s inability to stay focused on their goals is seen as a shortcoming by INTP, and INTP may start to criticize their partner for their lack of discipline. 

While INTP and ENFP find motivation to do what they want, both tend to slack off at home. They may go weeks without doing laundry, vacuuming, or cleaning the kitchen. It’s not that they’re simply lazy. Both types have many ongoing projects at once and may forget about chores. ENFP is usually the first to notice and eventually take it upon themselves to get housework done. INTP usually doesn’t volunteer to help out unless asked. At that point, INTP may accuse their ENFP partner of “nagging” them. ENFP may decide to stop asking for their help altogether in order to avoid conflict. Unfortunately, their resentment towards their partner builds up over time and will lead to a full-blown argument. 

INTP is never satisfied with themselves or with others. At the same time, they can come across as insensitive and disconnected, which makes it hard to maintain an emotional bond with ENFP. It’s difficult for ENFP to stay focused on their professional goals because they usually have many things they’d like to accomplish. INTP sees them as “undisciplined” and may go so far as to tell them so. ENFP may feel hurt, and their self-esteem is negatively affected by INTP’s harsh criticism.

 

How do they resolve conflict?

It takes plenty of trust, communication, and respect for ENFP and INTP to bridge the gap between these two polar opposite personalities. They are on two opposite ends of the spectrum of emotional sensitivity, sociability, and desire for connection. In order to successfully resolve conflict, both ENFP and INTP need to understand they will often have very different viewpoints on most topics.

 

How do they build trust?

ENFP often takes an emotional stance on most topics. They are very effective communicators. However, they aren’t always able to persuade their partner to understand their position. INTP is very rational and pragmatic. They never see any situation from an emotional stance and are often unable to rationalize with those who have this perspective. This characteristic makes it inherently difficult for an ENFP and an INTP to compromise on much of anything. ENFP needs to try to voice their point of view in a more pragmatic manner, while INTP needs to remain more cautious with the words they choose while conversing with their partner.

 

IV. ENFP and INTP Friendships

ENFP and INTP are complete opposites in many ways. However, there are times when they can come together to form unique friendships that allow them to view the world from a uniquely different point of view.

 

ENFP VS INTP: Approach to Friendship

ENFPs are enthusiastic and very loyal friends. They do what they can to offer their friends support and are generous with their time and effort. Unfortunately, ENFPs experience the problem of their friends not reciprocating this level of effort. This issue may make ENFP feel lonely at times. ENFPs create meaningful friendships with a wide variety of personality types. They typically attract other outgoing people. However, they also try to include more reserved individuals in their activities. Because of this, ENFPs are often very popular amongst all sorts of people. 

INTPs don’t necessarily go out of their way to make friends with people. They don’t want to waste their effort on those they know won’t make a good match for them. They are selective with who they spend their time with. Because INTPs are perfectly content with their own company, they may not actively seek out friends. However, when they meet someone they click with, they will engage them in lively conversation and get to know them better before pursuing a closer friendship.

 

ENFP & INTP Friendship Dynamics

ENFP usually engages INTP first in order to include them in conversation at work or at a gathering. INTP is very slow to open up and might find ENFP’s enthusiasm a bit unnecessary. INTP has a dry and somewhat dark sense of humor which ENFP appreciates. This friendship takes time to develop and often never goes past the acquaintance state. Sometimes ENFP and INTP will hit it off based on shared interests, and they will accompany each other to museums and unique experiences.

 

What makes them good for each other as friends?

Because of ENFPs and INTP’s differences, these two personality types have a lot to learn from one another. They can expand each other’s minds and help them become more well-rounded individuals. ENFP can help INTP tap into their emotions and understand why they should consider them in the decision-making process, while INTP can help ENFP become more organized and stick to their professional goals.

 

Could they be close friends?

Although they might have the potential to become friends, ENFP and INTP rarely become close friends. Their differences often cause too much friction for either type to trust the other.

 

What are some areas that might cause them problems as friends?

INTP’s lack of sensitivity when dishing out unwanted advice can cause friction with the more sensitive ENFP. ENFPs’ emotional side tends to get the best of them. This tendency causes INTP to lose trust in ENFPs’ ability to rationalize. Both personality types often feel they spend more time explaining themselves and their points of view than enjoying time together and having fun. ENFP and INTP may eventually accept that there is very little to build a strong friendship upon and break it off altogether.