ESTP Compatibility: Romantic Relationships, Love, and Dating


Those with ESTP personalities tend to hit it off with most people. They are lively and enthusiastic people and frequently the life of the party.

ESTPs are adventurous and seek thrills. They prefer to live in the present and dislike thinking about the future. Their outgoing personality and zest for life generally make the ESTP a magnet for others.

Overall Compatibility of ESTPs with Other Personality Types

The ESTP gets along with most other personalities. Their overall sense of fun and adventure and their ability to make the most of any situation make them popular. However, the ESTP matches better with some personality types, such as ISFJ, than with others, like INTJ.

Best Matches for an ESTP

The personality types who are the most natural partners for an ESTP are the ISFJ and the ISTJ. These personalities work well together, and the spontaneous ESTP can bring a spark of fun and adventure to a relationship. These relationship parings may also nudge the ESTP to take at least a few moments to consider their future.

Worst Matches for an ESTP

A person with an INTJ personality type is the worst potential partner for an ESTP. The inward nature of the INTJ conflicts with the outgoing nature of the ESTP. The likelihood of an INTJ calming and reining in an ESTP is rather slim, just as it is not likely for an ESTP person to bring about a robust social side in an INTJ. These personalities are opposite on a fundamental level.

Best Good Poor Worst
ISFJ

ISTJ

ESFP

INTP

ENTP

ESFJ

ESTJ

INFJ

ENFJ

ENTJ

ISTP

ESTP

ISFP

ENFP

INTJ

INFP

ESTP Relationships

ESTPs bring a vast amount of excitement and energy to their relationships. Their ability to make the best of situations and find adventure in the mundane ensures that their relationships will not be dull.

What an ESTP Looks for in a Relationship

The adventurous ESTP wants to spend their time with someone who can share their zest for life and be spontaneous. In many ways, the ESTP is looking for a playmate of sorts. They want to be with someone who is open to new experiences and will enthusiastically join them on adventures.

This personality type does not focus on the future. They want to live in the here and now, having as much fun as possible. Additionally, ESTPs want to be their significant other’s priority and enjoy being at center stage.

ESTPs prefer relationships that confer a constant sense of adventure.

What an ESTP Needs in a Relationship

An ESTP needs a partner who can keep up with their fun and active life. They are doers and not dreamers, so a discussion about great tennis players will not capture their attention nearly as much as playing a few sets.

Because they bore easily, ESTPs need a significant other who is creative and enjoys being on the go. At the same time, independence is an essential quality that an ESTP looks for in a partner.

Many ESTPs can benefit from a partner who can help them ponder the future or consequences of their behavior. However, most would balk at the prospect of being reined in too much as they crave freedom and spontaneity.

What an Ideal Relationship for an ESTP Looks Like

The ideal ESTP relationship would have the following elements:

  • Spontaneity
  • Adventure
  • Activity
  • Shared learning experiences
  • Attention from their partner
  • Socializing

How an ESTP Acts in Relationships

Generally, when someone catches the ESTP’s eye, he or she will turn on their charm and sweep the object of their attention off of their feet. Because they are prone to excess, an ESTP may shower their partner with gifts, especially extravagant gifts.

ESTPs do not enjoy pondering the future and tend to avoid making plans far in advance. They prefer to wake up and find excitement instead of planning it months earlier.

ESTPs have the reputation of jumping from relationship to relationship. This is not because they are incapable of fidelity. Typically, the ESTP partner is simply bored and sees no sense in holding on to relationships that are not meeting their needs.

What a Bad Relationship for an ESTP Looks Like

Bad relationships for an ESTP would include:

  • Boredom
  • Lack of social stimulation
  • A partner who tries to change their adventurous nature
  • Coercion to make commitments
  • Jealousy
  • Demands for emotional intimacy

ESTP Love and Romance

While an ESTP is naturally flirtatious and outgoing, this personality type does not give much thought to falling in love. You will not usually find an ESTP daydreaming about their wedding day or a spouse, children and a pet in the yard. However, they enjoy having a partner to explore the world with them, and love matches often start from that point.

ESTP Males in Love

ESTP men have a surprisingly caring and nurturing side that they show to those they love. ESTP men strive to protect and provide for their partners.

While they are not likely to recite poetry to a partner, they are apt to offer tokens of affection. They deal directly in life, and so if a partner needs or wants something, an ESTP man will do all he can to provide it.

Maintaining a high level of excitement is essential to an ESTP male, and this makes relationships difficult. Once the thrill is gone, they frequently seek new adventures with a new partner.

ESTP Females in Love

An ESTP woman is full of contradictions. She is driven to be logical yet yearns to be unrestrained and irresponsible sometimes. Add the rush of love to this, and her partner can expect never to experience extreme boredom.

Passionate and driven to enjoy life, an ESTP woman will love deeply and enjoy affection as long as her partner does not smother her. She is authentic and places a high value on those she loves.

How an ESTP Knows They are in Love

Generally, an ESTP personality will know they are in love when they find themselves giving in in order to make their significant other happy. Most ESTPs are not looking for love and long-term relationships. However, once they find themselves in a vibrant and exciting relationship with a person who meets their needs and sparks their imagination, love can and will follow.

How an ESTP Shows Love

When an ESTP is in love, there are several tell-tale signs.

  • They show great enthusiasm towards their significant other. ESTPs are known for their lively spark of energy; when this energy goes towards their partner, it may be love.
  • They are willing to bend for their partner. While ESTPs dislike mundane tasks and planning for the future, an ESTP who takes out the trash and makes a plan for an event weeks ahead of time could be in love
  • The ESTP focuses their energy on making their partner happy
  • They show their nurturing and compassionate side to those they love
  • An ESTP will sacrifice some of their alone time for their partner

ESTP Love Language

ESTPs feel loved when their significant other offers quality time together. Ideally, this quality time includes exciting and adventurous activities because the ESTP bores easily and thrives on spontaneous fun. They also appreciate acts of service as this is one way they tend to show their love for the special people in their lives.

Does an ESTP Fall in Love Easily?

ESTP personality types rarely ponder the future and do not spend much time thinking about falling in love. They are more concerned with finding someone who will be a good playmate and join in on the fun they want to experience.

Once an ESTP spots a person whom they believe is a good match, they will turn on their famous charm and win over the object of their affection. Love itself can build over time and with shared experiences.

How to Make an ESTP Fall in Love

While there is no magical way to make a person fall in love with another, there are ways to make a lasting impression on another person. Here are a few tips to make an ESTP notice you:

  • Have an adventurous attitude
  • Enjoy unplanned events
  • Be a little independent
  • Have an uncomplicated view of life
  • Show enthusiasm for the ESTP’s ideas
  • Be a doer and not only a talker
  • Be a willing participant in the ESTP’s adventures

How to Love an ESTP Long Term

Long-term relationships with an ESTP can be a bit tricky. This personality type dislikes planning and rarely thinks about the future.

They are easily bored and have a reputation as people who bounce from relationship to relationship. However, this does not mean an ESTP cannot be a part of a solid long-term relationship. They have deep feelings and are capable of making lasting commitments.

To maintain a long-term relationship, both partners must put effort into keeping things interesting. Sharing adventures and taking part in exciting, shared interests are great ways to keep a relationship with an ESTP lively for the long run.

Is an ESTP Romantic?

ESTPs are unconscionably charming and quite adept at showering their partner with gifts and attention. They are prone to extravagant displays and a spontaneity that breathes life into relationships.

However, they are not naturally skilled at tuning in to other people’s feelings and sometimes do not notice cues their significant other is giving. Sometimes they fall short when it comes to expressing their feelings and affection for their partner. Because they believe actions speak louder than words, they feel their partner should know how they feel based on what they do and how they act.

Is an ESTP a Good Lover?

The ESTP’s sense of fun and adventure can make them exciting lovers. As they detest boredom, they are usually more than willing to be creative and experimental in the bedroom.

The one area that can be a problem for an ESTP’s love life is their tendency to view sex as a purely physical act. Partners who need a deeper emotional and spiritual connection from sex may find themselves wanting.

ESTP Dating

ESTPs strongly dislike mundane and boring facets of life, so when dating, the ESTP wants to share fun and excitement with a person who shares their love of action and adventure. They care deeply about others but are more likely to show this love with gifts or caring gestures. Their ideal date is a hands-on experience rather than an imaginative discussion.

What Type of Person does an ESTP Usually Date?

Since ESTPs get along well with most people, they can leverage their considerable charm and date whomever they want most of the time. They tend to date those who share their drive for excitement and spontaneity. Independent, non-clingy people are attractive to ESTPs, and they usually want to be with a person who is willing to be a playmate and fellow explorer of the world around them.

Because ESTPs like dates to be fun and exciting, they often date people with high energy levels and a great sense of fun.

What Type of Person SHOULD an ESTP date?

An ESTP would do well to avoid serious personalities who spend time in their own worlds of thoughts. Instead, they ought to date people who are:

  • Spontaneous
  • Adventurous
  • Uninhibited
  • Active
  • Independent
  • Uncomplicated

Dating an ESTP

All relationships take effort, and dating the fun-loving ESTP is no exception. As a partner, the ESTP will keep their significant other on their toes. The ESTP enjoys offering spur-of-the-moment invitations and surprise gifts as well as showing affection through spending quality time and performing acts of service.

Some personality types are put off by the ESTP’s unwillingness to plan or make commitments. However, ESTPs prefer to live in the moment and dislike mundanity. This can frustrate a partner who prefers a general semblance of order.

Many partners of ESTPs worry about the longevity of a relationship. Some ESTPs will indeed leave a relationship when they become bored. However, if both partners are committed to the relationship, ESTPs can make excellent members of a long-term relationship.

Having an ESTP Boyfriend

ESTP men typically are charming, witty, and personable individuals. An ESTP boyfriend will put his energy into wooing the object of his affection with these traits.

The ESTP boyfriend is the guy who brings lovely surprise gifts for no particular reason. He loves to share exciting adventures with his partner and is never dull. While he may not show it, he also has a deep capacity for caring and protecting those he loves.

Having an ESTP Girlfriend

Dating an ESTP woman is usually fun and exciting. Because they dislike mundane things and tend to buck traditional female stereotypes, ESTP ladies are generally thrilled to go on spontaneous adventures with their significant other.

ESTP females have a great capacity for caring and nurturing those they love and tend to be confident and independent instead of possessive and clingy.

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