INFP and INFP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

A relationship between two people of the same Myers-Briggs personality type might appear to be an ideal pairing. A shared perspective can surely be an advantage in a relationship, but it also has problems. All told, the INFP/INFP relationship has a strong chance of becoming long-term and mutually gratifying.

Compatibility

INFPs place a high value on relationships and tend to desire a deep, meaningful connection with their significant other. Therefore, both people in an INFP/INFP relationship will almost instinctively provide what the other is looking for in a romantic partner.

INFP/INFP pairings also benefit from the INFP’s tendency toward empathy. One of this couple’s greatest strengths is their willingness and ability to put themselves in the place of the other and try to see from their perspective.

Summary Chart: INFP/INFP Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
Both value deep connections Mutual focus on the big picture over its important details
Each partner understands the need for time alone Potential for disorganization
Shared humanitarian values Two idealists may find it hard to “agree to disagree”
Both are empathetic Both partners may get cranky during periods of downtime

3 Reasons why Two INFPs can be Good for Each Other

As they have so many personality traits in common, there are plenty of reasons partners in INFP/INFP relationships can be good for one another.

  1. Both are empathetic
  2. Both desire deep personal connections
  3. Each will understand the other’s need for time alone

Among the greatest strengths of the INFP/INFP relationship is that both partners tend to be creative in their approach to solving personal problems. Each will try to see the other side of an argument, making reconciliation that much easier on those rare occasions when conflict arises.

It can be difficult for an extrovert to understand the INFP’s need for time alone. There’s a danger an extrovert may take the introvert’s desire for time alone personally. Another strength of the INFP/INFP relationship is that both partners understand each other’s desire for rejuvenating time alone.

3 Reasons why Two INFPs might not be Good for Each Other

No relationship is without some degree of conflict, and even the same-personality-type match of an INFP/INFP relationship is bound to hit some rough spots. A few causes of potential conflict between INFP and INFP partners are:

  1. Shared tendency to overlook details may lead to conflict
  2. Both desire harmony and may put off discussing important subjects as a result
  3. May get irritable during periods of downtime

Both partners in an INFP/INFP relationship tend to focus on “the big picture,” sometimes at the expense of essential details. Unless both partners recognize this tendency in themselves and their counterparts and each makes a concerted effort to attend to the details of a given situation, disappointment will often result.

Another potential pitfall of the INFP/INFP relationship is that both partners desire harmony in their relationships, so much so that they are likely to put off conversations that may “rock the boat.” While a general desire for harmony is undoubtedly a good thing, there are times when important discussions shouldn’t be put off, lest they fester and become tinged with resentment.

INFPs crave excitement, a personality trait that serves the INFP/INFP pair well, especially when dating. On the flip side of this coin is a strong aversion to the mundane. INFP couples may become irritable and less patient with one another during extended periods of downtime.

Communication

Communication is rarely a cause of problems between partners in an INFP/INFP relationship. Both partners will enjoy conversing about more abstract subjects, from interpreting literature and movies to discussing the meaning of life. Each is likely to find the other a stimulating and engaging conversationalist.

Where are they Strong, and Why?

Communication between INFP partners is rarely contentious. INFPs value harmony in their relationships and interpersonal relations. As such, neither partner will be likely to resort to verbal jabs or bickering. INFP types also tend to be empathetic and willing to try and see any argument from their counterpart’s perspective.

Both partners in an INFP/INFP relationship view the world and their respective roles within it through a humanitarian lens. Both will want to serve people through their work or by volunteering their time. While each partner may do so in vastly different ways, both will appreciate that their counterpart also values helping others.

Where do INFPs have Problems, and Why?

As rare as communication problems may potentially be for the INFP/INFP couple, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some pitfalls that will need to be avoided. Both members of an INFP couple value harmony in their communications, sometimes to the point of avoiding difficult but important conversations for harmony’s sake.

When making plans, the more abstract-thinking INFP tends to focus on broad strokes rather than the fine details. This can serve both partners in an INFP/INFP relationship, as each prefers to leave room for spontaneous schedule change. If, however, one or the other partner doesn’t consign themself to attend to the minor points, disappointment and lack of preparedness are likely to cause conflict.

INFPs can make great conversationalists and stimulating partners, but their introspective natures can make them reticent to engage socially. INFPs want to make deep connections with the people in their lives, so it can take a bit of an investment in time to get to know them or to let them get to know you.

How can INFPs Improve their Communication with Each Other?

Partners in an INFP/INFP relationship will only occasionally experience conflict in their communication. As such, the surprise and even emotional pain that often accompanies a communication breakdown is exacerbated for the already sensitive INFP. A bit of self-awareness regarding the INFP communicative style can go a long way toward each partner learning to be okay with occasional and unavoidable bouts of disharmony.

Where do they Connect, and Why?

Though an INFP/INFP couple will crave excitement and likely enjoy a fun-filled courtship, shared experiences are not the fundamental basis for an INFP/INFP relationship. Instead, the INFP desire for emotional intimacy means this couple will bond over meaningful exchanges of ideas and as they get to know one another over time.

INFP Values

The INFP/INFP couple will likely find they share very similar ways of seeing and engaging with the world around them. Similarities in what each partner values can provide a solid foundation for building a mutually rewarding, long-term relationship.

Three things INFPs Value

  1. Other people and their feelings
  2. Deep, meaningful connections with others
  3. Making the world a better place

INFP types value other people and their welfare above nearly anything else. INFPs desire to help others often leads them into vocations that allow them to do just that. Teaching, healthcare, and social services are fields that are likely to be attractive to the INFP.

Regarding personal relationships, the INFP prefers people with whom they feel they can establish a deep, meaningful connection. It isn’t that they can’t get along well with people who share interests or hobbies, but these folks are likely to remain casual acquaintances instead of friends.

INFPs believe the world can be improved through humanitarian action and endeavor, each in their own way, to make it a better place. Members of an INFP/INFP pairing are likely to bond over their shared desire to improve their surroundings for themselves and the good of humanity in general.

How do their Values Match Up?

Speaking generally, partners in an INFP/INFP relationship will have values that align very well. Both intuitive feelers they’ll tend to agree on most questions of value.

That’s not to say there isn’t potential for differences in values between two INFPs, and when value differences arise for such couples, they can often prove catastrophic. Because both partners feel strongly about their principles and ethics, any significant difference will be difficult, though not impossible, to resolve.

Love Language/Love Style

Members of an INFP/INFP relationship are unlikely to feel unloved or unappreciated. Both partners share the same “love language” and are therefore likely to be on the same page when expressing affection for one another.

Ways INFPs Show their Love

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Quality Time

As both partners in this couple appreciate physical touch, spending quality time together, and speaking words of affirmation, they are unlikely to experience problems communicating affection.

The only areas of possible conflict in such a relationship would depend on matters of degree. For example, both partners may appreciate words of affirmation, but one partner may find too much affirmation patronizing or even lacking in authenticity. Every INFP couple must finely tune their expressions of affection; every language has many dialects, after all.

INFP & INFP in Bed

Given the INFP’s tendency to feel deeply, and their desire to establish meaningful bonds with those they love, the INFP/INFP couple has a better than average chance at a vibrant, mutually-fulfilling sex life.

It may take a little time for two INFPs to feel comfortable enough to allow their adventurous natures sway in the bedroom, but once they feel safe with one another, the feeling INFPs are likely to experience great sex that is more than just physical.

INFP and INFP Couples/Marriage

How do Two INFPs Match up in a Long-term Relationship?

The INFP/INFP couple has a great chance for long-term success, but no relationship is without conflict. There’s a danger the female of an INFP/INFP couple may find her intuitive, feeling husband too indecisive and feelings-driven.

There’s also a danger that both partners will see in each other what is too difficult to admit seeing in themselves. A big part of any same-personality-type relationship is self-awareness and a healthy sense of self. If one partner is troubled by their own tendency to miss details for the big picture, for example, there’s a chance they’ll resent that behavior when they see it in their partner.

INFP and INFP Conflicts

Conflict is rare between the harmony-loving members of an INFP/INFP relationship, but no partnership is conflict-free. There are several reasons this pairing might be tested by conflict.

Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)

Though rare, the INFP/INFP relationship may experience conflict for any of the following reasons:

  • Introverted INFPs may talk each other into putting things off, sometimes indefinitely
  • Perceived difference of values
  • The tendency for both to be okay with disorder may lead one partner to feel they are doing all the work

The INFP/INFP couple faces the danger of social stagnation. As introverts, it can be too easy for partners in an INFP/INFP couple to talk themselves and one another out of making or following through with plans. This can be unhealthy and a source of potential conflict.

A perceived value difference, especially a significant one, can be a high hurdle for the INFP couple to jump. “Agreeing to disagree” can be difficult for two people who hold their values dear, and this couple will have to approach any perceived value difference with love and mutual respect.

INFPs have a high tolerance for disorganization and disorder. Neither partner is likely to put things like chores at the top of their list of priorities. While this similarity may put off some arguing at first, one or the other partner will eventually get fed up with their surroundings and take it upon themselves to do something about it. This can lead to resentment, which can result in turn in conflict.

How do Two INFPs Resolve Conflict?

Fortunately for INFP/INFP couples, both partners are not only averse to conflict but adept at resolving it too. INFP types are high in empathy and are usually willing and able to at least try to see a problem from their partner’s perspective.

As mentioned earlier, INFP types value harmony and will want to resolve conflicts as quickly as possible. The longer an INFP/INFP couple is together, the likelier they are to have established a bond deep enough to weather all but the most extreme differences of opinion.

How do Two INFPs Build Trust?

INFP types value authenticity in potential partners. Because authenticity takes time to verify, and because of the INFP desire to establish meaningful connections, building trust between INFPs may take some time.

While the INFP couple dates and gets to know one another, they’ll subconsciously monitor the other’s speech and behavior for consistency. Trust between INFPs is based on mutual vulnerability and deep, exploratory conversation. Trust may be established, to some degree, early in the INFP/INFP relationship, but it matures and deepens over time.

Friendships between INFPs

Two INFPs can form a wonderful long-term friendship, provided they find an impetus to talk to one another. INFPs aren’t terribly outgoing, and getting through the awkwardness of introductions and finding common interests may prove challenging. Once past this hurdle, two INFPs will likely have enough in common to make great friends.

INFP’s Approach to Friendship

INFPs may not be overly expressive regarding their feelings toward friends. A complex personality type, INFPs will likely be quicker with a witty retort than words of friendship.

Despite a reluctance to express it verbally, INFP types take their friendships very seriously. They’d love to have more friends, but the energy required to establish and maintain meaningful friendships means their circle of friends will likely be a small but close one.

INFP and INFP Friendship Dynamics

Two INFPs can make a good team. Both crave adventure and excitement and plenty of time for deep conversation, so each will likely see the other as a stimulating and engaging friend.

What Makes INFPs Good for Each Other as Friends?

INFPs need deep conversations about abstract topics. INFPs, particularly those in long-term romantic relationships with personality types less enamored with analytical discussions, will require an outlet for this desire. INFP friends, like INFP lovers, are likely to find one another stimulating conversationalists.

Could Two INFPs be Close Friends?

Considering their common personality types, values, and communicative styles, there’s no reason two INFPs couldn’t become the closest of friends. If that is, the two introverts can find something in common initially; otherwise, each will likely be reticent to break the ice.

What are Some Areas that Might Cause them Problems as Friends?

As is usually the case, the issues that could potentially cause problems in an INFP/INFP romantic relationship are the same that could rear their heads in an INFP/INFP friendship.

Much like the INFP/INFP romantic relationship, a friendship between INFPs will likely necessitate one friend attending to details when making plans. One of the friends will probably have to play the role of a motivator as well, convincing both themselves and their friend to follow through with their plans.

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