When the compassionate and reserved INTJ pairs up with the outgoing and charming ENFP they usually create a strong bond that’s built upon a solid foundation of friendship and understanding. Mutual respect and the desire to improve the world around them are characteristics that increase this couple’s potential to enjoy a healthy long-term relationship.
While these two types may first seem as though they go together like oil and water, they actually create a very well-balanced relationship dynamic. INTJ helps ENFP become more focused and goal driven while ENFP helps INTJ become more socially aware and empathetic towards others.
INTJs are often found deep in their own thoughts and thrive on discovering new and innovative solutions for the world’s problems. A rational and pragmatic thinker, they form their opinions based on facts. INTJs enjoy time on their own as this allows for self reflection. ENFP loves the company of others and is always in the mood to meet new people, even if they share completely opposite views. They are warm, charming, and empathetic, which is what initially draws INTJ in and piques their curiosity.
Like all relationships, INTJ and ENFP will experience conflict from time to time. There are a few common issues that arise within this pairing, specifically pertaining to interpersonal communication problems.
Conflicts that arise within an INTJ and ENFP pairing usually revolve around INTJ’s lack of foresight and poor choice of words in social interactions. It is common for INTJ to “stick their foot in their mouth” and then wonder why others seem upset with them. They don’t see the need for a social filter and this causes their relationships with others to become strained at times.
ENFP places so much value on interpersonal communication that their partner’s abrasiveness and harsh tone often embarrasses or overwhelms them in social situations.
Summary Chart: INTJ and ENFP Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts
|Both are curious and love exploring different perspectives||INTJs can be arrogant, especially when they find themselves in the middle of conflict|
|Both are ambitious and driven when it comes to what they are passionate about||INTJ is often dismissive of other people’s emotions, whereas ENFP is very empathetic|
|Both are eloquent speakers and can clearly express themselves||INTJ can be socially clueless, leading to awkward interactions and miscommunications with others|
|Both types are optimistic about improving the world around them||INTJ has no problem saying what is on their mind as opposed to ENFP who worries about saying the wrong thing and offending others|
3 Reasons Why INTJ and ENFP Are Good for Each Other
INTJ’s strengths stem from their ability to make decisions based on what’s logical as opposed to what feels good at the moment. They can help their ENTP partner become more methodical in their decision-making process and successfully meet their personal and professional goals. On the other hand, ENFP can help INTJ improve their capacity for empathy and understanding which helps them become more socially aware and considerate of others.
- INTJ can inspire ENTP to take time off work to relax and explore other hobbies
- INTJ can help ENTP make a decision and stick with it while cheering them on throughout their endeavors
- ENTP can help INTJ become more socially aware and considerate of other people’s feelings
While ENFP is outgoing and charming, they tend to be flaky and have a hard time sticking with decisions. They can spend weeks debating on where to go for their next vacation and ultimately choose the same destination over and over again. INTJ can help their ENFP partner weigh the pros and cons of each option and follow through with their decision.
3 Reasons Why INTJ and ENFP Are Not Good for Each Other
Although opposites do attract, there are times INTJ’s and ENFP’s differences cause more conflict than necessary. Following are a few of the main reasons why INTJ and ENFP may not be good for each other.
- ENTP is a people pleaser and may sacrifice their own needs to keep INTJ happy
- INTJ’s harsh, abrasive tone may cause ENTP to doubt their self-worth
- ENTP’s restless nature and INTJ’s combative tendencies may cause distance in the relationship
As intelligent and analytical as INTJ may be, they lack social awareness and have no problem saying exactly what’s on their mind without thinking about the consequences of their words. Unfortunately this often leads to communication breakdown, especially when conflicts arise with ENFP. In addition, they may come across as callous and shallow which can cause ENFP to withdraw.
ENFP is a “people pleaser” and is uncomfortable with the thought of someone disliking them for any reason. Because of this they may go out of their way to stay in good favor with those around them, including INTJ. This can lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic that culminates in a breakup.
Both personality types share a similar communication style and enjoy long, abstract conversation. It’s not uncommon for INTJ and ENFP to enjoy deep, intensely personal talks that last well into the night. Although they enjoy a similar style of communicating, INTJ’s tendency to come off as arrogant and combative may directly come into conflict with ENFP’s need to please and uplift others when they are in a bad mood.
Where are they strong and why?
Because ENFP is strongly attuned to other people’s emotions, they understand how to keep INTJ engaged as well as when they’ve reached their fill of socializing during gatherings. Although ENFP is extraverted and thrives off of the company of other people, they are intuitive and provide INTJ with the opportunity to tactfully leave a situation when they start to feel overwhelmed.
Where do they have problems and why?
ENFP is optimistic, upbeat, and always tries to see the positive in any situation. They do not like conflict and prefer to take the role of mediator to keep the peace.
INTJ is not afraid to tell it like it is, and often doles out unsolicited advice that comes off as rude and abrasive. INTJ lacks social awareness and they don’t find it necessary to cushion their words, even if it comes at the expense of their social standing.
INTJs have no problem rocking the boat, which lies in direct conflict of ENFP’s need for harmony and balance. This will be a continuous issue within the relationship if proper care isn’t taken to address it.
How might they improve communication?
ENFP needs to learn how to be comfortable with conflict and stand up for themselves when INTJ’s arrogance and callousness gets out of hand. If left unchecked, INTJ will continue to operate in the same manner until someone calls them out on their behavior. At the same time, INFJ must learn how to think through what they intend on saying prior to speaking.
Developing a better sense of empathy is crucial if INTJ stands a chance at a successful long-term relationship with ENFP.
Where do they connect? Why?
INTJ and ENFP are intellectual and they often become acquainted through shared interests and personal hobbies. INTJ and ENFP can talk at length about art, history, music, and science, and enjoy exploring abstract ideas and theories. These joint interests are what tend to keep them connected, despite their many differences.
INTJ & ENFP: Values
INTJ and ENFP may have different values, specifically when it comes to organization and work-life balance. However, these differences help them become better versions of themselves as they learn to appreciate each other’s unique way of interacting with the world around them.
3 Things an INTJ Values
INTJ loves a good challenge, and often finds themselves drawn to careers which allow them to use their problem-solving skills in a professional capacity. They are organized and prepared for anything that may come their way. INTJs value:
- Logical problem solving skills
- Attention to detail and organization
- Originality and new ideas
INTJ personalities are hard workers and go above and beyond what is necessary to excel. They are informed decision-makers, independent thinkers, and determined to get the job done by any means necessary. Not only are they often trailblazers, but they are also analytical and enjoy a challenge.
INTJs thrive in areas which allow them to use these traits to their advantage and are self-motivated enough to work on their own.
3 Things an ENFP Values
Over everything else, ENFP loves spending time with their family and making new friends whenever possible. They place value on deep personal connections and embrace social harmony and inclusion. ENFPs value:
- Relationships with family and friends
- Social harmony and tolerance of other people’s views
- Intellectually stimulating conversations with others
ENFPs find beauty in just about any situation. They always look for the silver lining and see setbacks as opportunities for personal growth. They value deep connections with others and often have a handful of close friends they turn to when times get tough.
While ENFPs do perform well in a professional capacity, they prefer to leave work at the office. They make use of their free time by pursuing personal hobbies and spending time with friends.
How do their values match up?
INTJ’s identity revolves around their professional life, whereas ENFP’s identity revolves around their close interpersonal relationships. While INTJ may be the last one to leave the office at the end of a busy work day, ENFP is the first one out the door and spends their free time catching up with family and friends. Mutual respect is vital for these two types to deepen their understanding of each other and what motivates them to get out of bed each morning.
Love Language/Love Style
Although ENFP and INTJ have their own unique ways of expressing their love towards one another, they put full effort into showing how much they appreciate their partner through various acts of service and physical affection.
Ways INTJs Show Their Love
INTJs are analytical and pragmatic, but they are also loyal and devoted to their partner. They prefer to show love through acts of service and physical touch.
- Acts of service and performing chores around the house
- Close physical touch like hugs and kisses
- Words of affirmation and helping their partner solve problems
INTJs have a difficult time opening up emotionally, but they do show their love in more tangible ways like doing chores around the house or holding hands during an evening walk. Although they are not the type to write sentimental notes and poetry, they do enjoy helping their partner work through challenges as they arise.
Ways ENFPs Show Their Love
ENFPs always want to please their partners and enjoy doing things for them that make them feel loved and appreciated. They are happy to lend an ear and provide a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.
- Words of encouragement, especially during difficult times
- Acts of service and meeting their partner’s needs
- Validating their partner with words of affirmation
When an ENFP is in a relationship they do whatever they can to make their partner feel special. Whether it’s by making breakfast in bed or supporting them during challenging times, they know exactly what to say or do to show their partner how much they love them.
INTJ and ENFP in Bed
Like everything else in life, INTJ uses a logical approach when it comes to the bedroom. INTJ tends to enjoy routine, although they are open to new experiences and are willing to do what it takes to fulfill their partner’s physical needs.
At the same time, ENFP also enjoys novelty in the bedroom, while they additionally require a deep emotional connection to reach physical satisfaction. INTJ doesn’t share this same need and has no problem being intimate with someone they have no emotional connection with.
INTJ and ENFP Couples/Marriage
INTJ Male and ENFP Female
The INTJ male and ENFP female dynamic tends to work out well and presents many opportunities for the couple to learn from each other. ENFP females are warm and friendly while encouraging their friends to slow down and enjoy the small things in life. In this dynamic the INTJ male can learn to appreciate a more “go with the flow” type of lifestyle, while the ENFP female may become inspired to stick with their goals.
ENFP Male and INTJ Female
Like other couples, the ENFP male and INTJ female have the potential to enjoy a wonderful long-term relationship, but they must maintain respect for personal boundaries and values.
The INTJ female is thoughtful and analytical, but they can also come across as hostile if she feels threatened. Their ENFP male partner might ultimately bear the brunt of their hostilities, especially if ENFP feels that INTJ isn’t living up to their true potential. In this case, developing a greater sense of empathy and compassion can help this couple build a long-lasting relationship with each other.
INTJ and ENFP Conflicts
Every relationship deals with its fair share of conflicts. An INTJ and ENFP pairing will come across some common themes that spark issues from time to time.
Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)
While conflicts between INTJ and ENFP aren’t especially common, they primarily occur due to vastly different communication styles and levels of emotional capacity.
- INTJ can be overly abrasive, especially if they feel that a conversation isn’t going their way
- INTJ can be dismissive of those who aren’t afraid to show their emotions, regarding them as being “irrational”
- ENFP’s disorganization can be a source of annoyance for INTJ’s need for order
Many of this couple’s issues stem from INTJ’s lack of social awareness and personal filter. They don’t mind conflict and find plenty of opportunities to rock the boat whenever possible. ENFP’s need for social harmony and people-pleasing tendencies could be a recipe for disaster and cause them to become a “doormat” in the relationship if they are not careful.
Another issue stems from ENFP’s lack of drive or tenacity, which could irritate INTJ. They may find ENFP’s slower paced lifestyle and love of leisure indulgent when there is so much work to be done.
How do they resolve conflict?
Conflict resolution between INTJ and ENFP involves INTJ becoming more aware of how what they say comes off towards others. At the same time, ENFP must learn how to speak in a calm, rational manner when conflicts arise. By sticking to the facts and not allowing emotions to get the best of them, ENFP can work towards successful conflict resolution with their INTJ partner.
How do they build trust?
In order to build trust, the INTJ partner must develop a higher sense of emotional intelligence and think before they speak. Not everyone wants unsolicited advice, especially if it is delivered harshly.
At the same time, ENFP can build trust with their INTJ partner by sticking to their principles and not allowing themselves to be taken advantage of just for the sake of peace. ENFP must learn how to speak calmly and rationally while staying true to their genuinely held beliefs.
INTJ and ENFP Friendships
Both INTJ and ENFP process information in a very similar manner. They are intuitive and can often sense each other’s needs and true feelings within most situations.
INTJ vs. ENFP: Approach to Friendship
ENFP loves to socialize. They thrive off of visiting with friends and tending to their personal relationships. They are comfortable in a crowd and can strike up a conversation with anyone.
INTJ prefers time alone. While they don’t mind working with others, they don’t care for socializing much outside of the office. They are less trusting of others and tend to say whatever is on their mind without concern for the consequences their blunt honesty might have on other people’s feelings.
INTJ & ENFP Friendship Dynamics
ENFP shows genuine interest in INTJ due to their tenacity in the workplace and originality. INTJs do not view themselves as extraordinary, they simply see themselves as doing what needs to be done.
Once an ENFP and INTJ become friends they open each other’s eyes to new possibilities and ways of interacting with the world. ENFP provides an opportunity for INTJ to become more social, while INTJ provides ENFP with practical advice and insight when making decisions.
What makes INTJ and ENFP good for each other as friends?
INTJ and ENFP are creative and need time to understand concepts before applying them to their own life. They are analytical and love exploring different theories and how they contrast with one another. Because of these similarities they often enjoy similar hobbies and long conversations that can deepen their bond even further.
Could they be close friends?
ENFP’s charm and positive demeanor can help INTJ feel more comfortable in social situations and may even help them become more socially aware. At the same time, INTJ can help ENFP become more organized, focused, and practical in their decision making process. With mutual respect and hard work INTJ and ENFP can become close friends.
What are some areas that might cause them problems as friends?
Although both INTJ and ENFP share similar communication styles, they often have issues that stem from INTJ’s lack of emotional insight and ENFP’s need to connect on a deeper level. INTJ may grow tired of ENFP’s need for emotional connection and pull away from the friendship.
Although INTJ doesn’t intend to come off abrasive or uncaring, their tendency to criticize and judge others may cause people to turn away from engaging with them. In turn, this can cause INTJ to become more harsh and abrasive towards everyone else.
Because ENFP hates conflict, this may cause then to keep their true feelings under wraps and internalize their emotions. If this occurs, there is a good chance that this friendship will eventually come to an end.