INTP Compatibility: Romantic Relationships, Love, and Dating


The INTP personality type has a solid attachment to intelligence and logic. For this reason, many of the traditional reasons behind forming relational bonds, such as emotional closeness or social validation, do not resonate with INTPs.

They base their relationships on shared knowledge and exchange of concepts. The INTP personality type respects those who can challenge them and help them increase their understanding of ideas or theories.

What are the Best and Worst Matches for an INTP?

INTPs are most compatible with those who share their predominantly logical understanding while being extraverted in order to balance the INTP’s own introversion. Therefore, ENTJ is very compatible with INTP. Emotional types who need their partner to rely on feelings and indirect communication, such as ESFP, are the worst matches.

Best INTP Match

The ENTJ personality type is a great match for the INTP. This pair shares a similar style of abstract communication and can understand each other on an intellectual level. Avoiding tedious and superficial topics is something both personalities want, so stimulating and compelling conversations on a wide range of topics will likely take place between an INTP and their ENTJ partner.

Neither personality type is particularly fond of expressing their emotions even if they share a deep attachment. Complimenting ideas or telling a partner that they enjoyed a specific conversation are examples of heartwarming interaction that the INTP and the ENTJ will appreciate.

Both partners enjoy a healthy debate, and to an outsider, it may appear the couple argues frequently. They are expressing themselves in a way that each appreciates and understands. These lively discussions do not involve hurt feelings but serve to sharpen and reinforce ideas and theories.

Worst INTP Match

The ESFP personality type is the worst match for an INTP. While two well-functioning adults can make most relationships work if they try hard enough, some partners are more natural and more pleasant than others. This pair will struggle to communicate on even the most basic level.

An ESFP naturally follows their feelings which tend to be unnoticed and not understood by the logical INTP. Additionally, the INTP partner can deliver (and take) criticism, the more feeling centered ESFP partner will likely be deeply wounded when such critical comments come their way from their INTP.

Emotional scenarios are highly unpleasant to an INTP, and their ESFP partner will almost certainly create situations fraught with emotion.

Compatibility Chart

Best Good Poor Worst

INTP in Relationships

Generally speaking, INTPs tend to have their focus on the internal rather than the external. They can be content for long periods of time with a reasonably solitary existence because the fascinating worlds they build in their minds are far more compelling than the mundane real world that exists outside. Although their social circle is typically small, the INTP holds their relationships as particularly precious, though they may be unlikely to admit this.

What an INTP Looks for in a Relationship

Because the INTP prizes intellect, an ideal partner needs a good head on their shoulders. Superficial chit chat about celebrity gossip or the latest Instagram fashion influencers will not hold an INTP’s interest.

A partner who is honest and has no interest in playing mind-games is a must for an INTP. They are naturally suspicious and prefer their dealings to be straight forward.

INTPs enjoy a good debate, especially if they feel their partner is an even intellectual match. They enjoy spirited discussions about subjects of interest and can take criticism and dish it out. However, they have no interest in emotional conflicts, and they prefer partners who do not demand emotional displays.

What an INTP Needs in a Relationship

The INTP thrives in relationships that are straightforward and as free of games and drama as is possible. Their needs tend to be simple. This is because the INTP has an exceptionally vivid and exciting imagination. The real world is often pale compared to the world that exists in their mind, which can be difficult for some INTPs to come to terms with.

An INTP does well in a relationship where their partner is knowledgeable and enthusiastic about similar pursuits. They require a considerable amount of time alone and need their partner to provide plenty of space and freedom.

When they do choose to share time with their partner, the INTP needs intellectual exchanges and thought-provoking discussions. Conversations about superficialities will not satisfy an INTP.

What an Ideal Relationship for an INTP Looks Like

To an INTP, an ideal relationship would live up to at least some of the tenets of the relationships they built in their imaginations. While this may not be fully attainable, some of the components of a relationship needed to satisfy an INTP include:

  • A patient partner who demands little
  • Freedom to indulge in time alone
  • A partner who is emotionally strong
  • Honesty and straightforwardness
  • A partner with above-average intelligence
  • A non-complicated life
  • An organized partner who is willing to put up with the INTP’s disdain for mundane chores and similar pursuits
  • A partner who is happy with a simple “less is more” sort of lifestyle

How an INTP Acts in Relationships

Once an INTP is in a relationship, they are generally easy to get along with and do not make numerous demands on their partner. While some INTPs seem aloof because they tend to withdraw in social situations, an INTP who is comfortable with their partner can show a great variety of imagination and enthusiasm when sharing thoughts and ideas.

They are rarely concerned with the traditional imperatives of relationships and prefer to create a world that makes logical sense. They appreciate partners who do not make emotional demands or attempt clever manipulation. They will communicate directly and honestly and want the same from their mate.

What a Bad Relationship for an INTP Looks Like

The hallmarks of a bad relationship for an INTP include:

  • A focus on superficialities
  • Excessive emotional turmoil
  • A lack of intellectual stimulation
  • Confinement or a lack of autonomy
  • Dishonesty or manipulation
  • Clingy overwhelming actions
  • Pressure to talk about feelings
INTPs have trouble with relationships in which they feel constrained to talk about their feelings.

INTP Love and Romance

Often INTPs are perceived as cold, unfeeling, or emotionally unavailable, which leads to the false notion that an INTP has no capacity for love. In reality, INTPs have deep emotions and treasure their meaningful relationships. However, this personality type does not have a great deal of skill in handling their own feelings, much less the feelings of others.

INTPs do not read emotions well, and because of this, their partners tend to feel that their emotional needs go unmet, or worse, do not matter. While an INTP wants their partner to experience contentment, they tend to focus on logical paths to this.

INTPs are not likely to make sweeping romantic gestures to profess their devotion. They are far more likely to carve out time for their partner, which is their way of expressing love.

An INTP in Love

Because emotions are not a strong suit for the INTP personality, love can be challenging to navigate. However, a few telltale signs signal to their significant other that there are deep feelings underneath the surface.

Three signs of an INTP in love:

  1. An INTP taking a sincere interest in the hobbies or passions of a significant other
  2. Timely responses to texts, voicemails, or emails
  3. Making the time to leave home and be with a significant other

INTP Males in Love

The INTP man in love will show the depth of his feelings for his partner in his own way. While an INTP male will rarely be the first one in a relationship to express emotions verbally, they offer other signs such as devoting their time to their partner and taking an interest in what their partner finds compelling.

Although INTP men get the label of emotionless, they do have deep emotions. However, they struggle to express these feelings. Offering logical ways to make the world a better place for their partner is one way that INTP men show they care.

INTPs tend to be faithful and devoted to their partners. One reason is that honesty is vital to an INTP; another is they lack the emotional energy to carry on several relationships simultaneously.

A strong signal that an INTP man is in love is when he devotes great amounts of time and energy trying to understand his partner. He then applies what he knows towards improving his significant other’s life.

INTP Females in Love

Frequently called the opposite of what society sees as the ideal female, the INTP woman is not prone to girly romantic stereotypes. Nor do they dress to impress or crave validation from the objects of their affection.

When an INTP woman is in love, she will invite her significant other into her vividly creative world of thoughts and ideas. While not seeking validation, an INTP woman does want the respect of her partner. She will be honest, sometimes too honest, and enjoys a lively debate about mutually enjoyable topics.

While she may not fit into the woman’s stereotypical mold in love, the INTP woman will gradually reveal herself to the person she loves while taking a genuine interest in their likes and hobbies.

How an INTP Knows They are in Love

Because INTPs struggle with emotional awareness, it can be difficult for this personality type to realize when friendship morphs into love. In some cases, an INTP is so unaware of how they feel about a special person in their life that they do not grasp their emotions until the other person is no longer in the picture.

There are a few signs that an INTP will notice if they are in love:

  • They think about the other person and add them to their list of things that are worth time and understanding
  • INTPs make time in the real world (not just in their heads) for the object of their affection
  • Learning about their partner’s interests and hobbies becomes important
  • INTPs will place a level of priority on the person they love
  • The INTP will gradually lower their guard enough to allow their partner to see their unique personality features

How an INTP Shows Love

INTPs tend to express love in practical ways. They make time for their significant other and will consent to leave the house on occasion. Additionally, they devote some of their vivid imagination to finding ways to better their partner’s life. A sure sign that an INTP cares is when they return texts, calls, or emails promptly.

INTP Love Language

INTPs place an exceptionally high premium on time. The importance of their time alone cannot be overstated. So, quality time is the dominant love language for an INTP. Physical touch can rank high for many INTPs, especially if they are able to cuddle in silence with their significant other.

Does an INTP Fall in Love Easily?

INTPs are naturally cautious and even somewhat suspicious of others. Because they tend to feel out of place, they carefully protect their emotions. Falling in love for an INTP is much more of a gradual transition from friendship than being pierced by Cupid’s arrow.

How to Make an INTP Fall in Love

While there is no way to make another person fall in love, there are several ways to endear yourself to an INTP:

  • Allowing INTPs the alone time they crave
  • Possessing a keen intelligence
  • Being willing and able to take part in a lively discussion on a variety of topics without taking the discussion as a personal attack
  • Handling criticism well
  • Enjoying living simply
  • Avoiding superficial topics of conversation
  • Allowing an INTP to refrain from discussing their feelings

How to Love an INTP Long Term

A long-term relationship with an INTP can be rewarding for both partners. The INTP partner will gradually show more of their inner self to their significant other, and as this happens, the partner should avoid critical or belittling remarks.

Calmly and directly expressing needs is an essential part of a relationship with an INTP. This personality type does not tune in to the emotional needs of others. However, that does not mean they have no emotions or do not care. They respond best to clearly stated requests.

Keeping drama to a minimum is key to having a content INTP partner. This does not mean ignoring issues but instead discussing them as rationally and clearly as possible.

Is an INTP Romantic?

When speaking in terms of the conventionally romantic, an INTP would not appear to be romantic. However, this does not mean they have no emotions. The INTP expresses love in simple ways, such as creating time for their partner and seeking ways to improve their partner’s life.

Is an INTP a Good Lover?

INTPs have an extraordinary amount of imagination and creativity. Devoting that to an intimate relationship offers excellent potential for an exciting and fulfilling love life.

INTP Dating

When involved in dating, the INTP personality will tend to approach it from the logical perspective they use when approaching the rest of their lives. They are not comfortable with emotions and tend to be reserved until they feel safe and comfortable.

INTP Dating Personality

The INTP place a high value on their relationships and friendships. Although they are not known for grandiose displays of affection, they put their creative energy into making their partner’s life better.

They enjoy time alone, but they willingly sacrifice their space to share with another when a person piques their interest. INTP partners will not be rushing off to the hottest night club or a trendy new restaurant. However, quieter events that interest them make suitable date venues.

INTPs crave intellectual stimulation. Although they are averse to drama, they enjoy spirited discussions centered around mutual interest points.

What Type of Person does an INTP Usually Date?

INTPs tend to date people who demonstrate a solid intellectual side. Because they dislike the mundane, a bright and clever partner who can engage in debates about mutually enjoyable material is ideal.

This personality type prefers partners who appreciate the uncomplicated lifestyle. Additionally, an INTP partner must be willing to allow them a great deal of alone time and be able to voice their needs in straightforward and undramatic ways.

What Type of Person SHOULD an INTP date?

An INTP tends to do well when dating a person with these characteristics:

  • Highly intelligent
  • Honest and loyal
  • Enjoys simple things
  • Is not clingy
  • Offers the personal space an INTP craves
  • Can enjoy a lively discussion
  • Does not push for emotional discussions
  • Is not superficial
  • Is not dramatic
  • Can clearly articulate needs and wants
  • Accepts the INTP’s quirks
  • Offers a sense of belonging to the INTP

Dating an INTP

Those who date an INTP are often surprised by the wit and humor that lie beneath an outwardly placid surface. They can feel confident that their INTP partner has their best interest at heart and will spend a great deal of time and energy trying to make life better.

When the INTP’s partner enjoys simple things and a drama-free lifestyle, the pair do well together. Likewise, INTPs’ partners need to be direct and tell the INTP what they need. An INTP is happy to put their creative energy into making sure their partner is satisfied once they know what is necessary to achieve this.

On the flip side, some of those who date INTPs are dismayed by their partner’s need for alone time and may take offense to time on the sidelines. Additionally, INTPs can offer harsh and hurtful criticisms without meaning to hurt their partners.

Feeling emotionally disconnected from their INTP partners is a common difficulty for those who date an INTP. Because they are not good at processing feelings, INTPs tend to avoid emotions and believe that everything is fine unless they learn otherwise.

Having an INTP Boyfriend

INTP boyfriends are typically loyal and desire to make their girlfriends’ lives as good as possible. While they require a considerable amount of time alone, the INTP boyfriend will make time for their partner and show that the significant other has a special place in their world.

Because INTP males tend to feel misunderstood, the boyfriend will not reveal much about himself unless he feels safe. Being poor at reading emotions, INTPs do a better job of meeting their partner’s needs when made aware of these needs.

While it is true that INTP boyfriends are not generally known for their skills as romantics, they are strong and solid partners who care deeply about those they allow into their lives.

Having an INTP Girlfriend

INTP girlfriends do not act in stereotypical ways, and many partners find this to be wonderfully refreshing. They are not prone to clinging, dramatic outbursts, or game-playing. INTP girlfriends are not seeking affirmation. They want their partner’s respect.

Honesty and loyalty are two traits found in INTP girlfriends. Even though they like their time alone, their significant others do not need to fear infidelity. They have simple day to day needs because their minds are exceptionally active. They enjoy physical attention from their partner and will return kind gestures.

While she is not likely going to be flirty or giddy, an INTP girlfriend can be a wonderfully caring and supportive mate.

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